


Second Best

by Babyuknow13



Series: Ace Attorney [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Lawyers are fun!, Maybe realistic?, No Reader Romance, Soriel, Spoiler Warning: No Reader Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2018-12-24 11:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12012198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babyuknow13/pseuds/Babyuknow13
Summary: I am making history. My clients are predominately Monsters. They have magic, they like pie, and they're all cuddly to one degree or another. I'm proud to be amongst the first to help them adjust to the surface world.Now if only the rest of the world would start cooperating. Honestly, life is hard enough without people going the extra mile to be unfair. I didn't become a lawyer to sit by and watch discrimination go unchallenged.Life is unfair. I'm trying to make it a little more fair every day.





	1. The First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> I got really sick and tired of all the Reader Relationship stories. Like seriously, can't there be a human in these stories without shacking them up with a skeleton? Can't they exist to just be awesome and help their monster homies out? Well, I got tired of trying to find a story like that, so I wrote one instead. Here, have Ace Attorney here to make the world a better place, whether you like it not.
> 
> And yes, I mean Ace in every meaning of the word.

Things sure are crazy right now. Monsters are the hot new thing and people are passionate about them. Not necessarily good passionate, but they're sure being vocal about it. Some of them are outraged, particularly among religious fanatics. Some of them are shouting at the top of their lungs about love and tolerance. Some are indifferent.

  
I suppose I'm passionate too. Here I am after all, waiting for my turn to speak to the monster monarchs and their tiny ambassador. King Asgore is in armor and gold, with a royal purple cape. He would be more intimidating if he didn't look so _confused_ by all the reporters and politicians in his face. Luckily, Queen Toriel is doing most of the talking and her face has an expression I recognize from the mirror. She's in her battle arena and everyone standing against her is a novice waiting to be thrown down.

  
"My apologies, but we simply do not have time for more questions. We have appointments to meet." She sounded completely neutral as she gently but firmly waved the cameras out of her face. "Pardon me, is there someone named _________ in this crowd?"

  
That's my cue.

  
"Here, your Majesty." I really hope that's the right form of address. The last time these guys walked the Earth execution via beheading was still a thing. She nods and gestures me forward so I grab my heavy-duty briefcase and push through the throng. In a few minutes we're sequestered in a meeting room, just the four of us.

  
Oh, make that nine of us. There's already a group of monsters waiting for us. One of them, a fish lady, is bedecked in armor with the monster monarchy's insignia on it. I can only assume she is part of this Royal Guard I've heard about.

  
"Allow me to introduce you," Queen Toriel smiles coolly. A smile with no meaning at all. I like that in a woman. It's amazing that I can recognize it on a goat's face.

  
"Everyone, this is the human lawyer who will be working on our behalf for the time being, _________." She turns to me and begins gesturing to each monster in turn. "This is Captain Undyne of the Royal Guard, the Royal Scientist Alphys, Monster Celebrity Mettaton, Monster Mascot Papyrus, and his brother Sans, the Royal Judge."

  
Ah, I've truly hit the big leagues.

  
"A pleasure to make your acquaintances, I look forward to working with all of you." I nod and smile. This is my patented smile #3, sincere and confident. Good for greeting new clients.

  
The child ambassador huffs quietly, then begins signing something. I speak three languages, but unfortunately English Sign Language is not one of them. Luckily, the child ambassador has an interpreter.

  
By which I mean a flower with a face pokes their head from the ambassador's pants pocket, coils their way up the ambassador's chest to settle on their shoulder and then speaks.

  
"Frisk wants to know if you'll be representing the entire Monster Race." He grumbled, blinking his little eyes as if he'd just been woken from a nap.

  
"Hopefully not alone for long, representing an entire race in all legal matters is a bit much for one person." Frisk nods seriously at this and then pulls a juice pouch from... _somewhere_. Presumably a back pocket. Was he/she carrying that all this time? And which pronoun was the right one to use? I'd seen both in every bit of information I could get my hands on.

  
Just use gender neutral stuff until someone else says it. Don't insult the tiny client.

  
"NNGGAAAAH!" The Captain suddenly erupts. "Let's get on with this already! I want to buy a house on the surface for me and my girlfriend!"

  
"Ah, are we starting with lodgings?" I am one hundred percent prepared for that. I've been on this case for two weeks already.

  
"First, let's all take our seats." King Asgore suggests. "This meeting may go on for a while."

  
The Captain groans as if the announcement caused her physical pain. I tried not to smirk at the sound of despair. Bad _____________, no enjoying the trauma of your clients.

  
"I've been in talks with the Prime Minister and his associates and we've got the Mt. Ebott area on lock, with good odds on talking them into giving up the nearby shoreline." I open my briefcase and sort through for the relevant documents and maps. I'm not sure how many monsters can fit under a mountain, and the question sounds too offensive in my head to ever ask out loud, but I think there's a sizeable parcel of land for them.

  
"That would make the water monsters very happy." King Asgore's eyes light up as he takes in the yellow highlighted shoreline. The area already approved for monsters is marked in green. A sort of neutral buffer zone is marked in purple. I explain all of this to them as I hand out copies of the relevant documents. I'm glad I have a policy on having at least ten copies of everything, even if it does mean using the heavy duty briefcase.

  
"Land is taken care of, but that still leaves the buildings themselves. I'm no construction expert, but I can refer you to a friend of mine who is well connected in that sphere. Unless of course you want your own people to take care of this." I pulled out yet more papers. The tiny ambassador shrunk back in their chair, seeming intimidated by the stack I'm building. Poor tiny ambassador.

  
"Personally, there are three ways to go about construction. Option A, hire human construction teams. Benefits, they already know all the current standards. Cons, they will charge through the nose for it because word has already gotten out that monsters still use gold." I list, passing out more documents. I'm not sure about the Celebrity Mr. Mettaton, but he gets a copy too. I love my copies. Plus it'll make the briefcase lighter when I leave.

  
"What are our other options?" Queen Toriel frowns. I don't doubt she's already faced some trouble with the gold exchange rate.

  
"Option B, hire monster construction teams. Benefits, they're more accustomed to building things scaled to size for all of you." And considering the wide range of shapes and sizes in this room alone, I was expecting some pretty skilled construction workers. "This will also presumably provide more jobs for your economy. Always good. Cons, your construction teams will be playing catch up in terms of building standards if you ever want to desegregate the Ebott area."

  
"Finally Option C, hire a mix of human and monster construction teams. Benefits short-term, you get buildings scaled properly that are fully up to code. Benefits long-term, it provides humans and monsters opportunities to get together in less formal settings and work on collaborative projects." I notice everyone seems intrigued by what I describe, but only the monarchy has bothered to start reading their documents. No one appreciates my copies as much as I do.

  
"Cons short-term, a lot of misunderstandings and general tension as two species try to carve out a working relationship. Cons long-term, I'm not actually sure. As I said, I'm no expert in this field but I'd be more than happy to consult my friend on your behalf." I hate admitting ignorance. There were already plans in the back of my mind for some late night studying in the near future.

  
"Frisk says _'I like Option C best. It'll mean more humans and monsters can learn to get along sooner.'_ " The flower translated. I never got an introduction to them.

  
"Oh Heavens, where are my manners?" Queen Toriel seems to realize the same thing. "_______, do forgive me for not introducing you sooner. This is Flowey, Frisk's Interpreter."

  
"Nice of you to remember I'm not some extension of Frisk's existence." The flower named Flowey rolled his eyes. His parents must not have been very creative with names.

  
"Flowey, a pleasure to be introduced. I'm sure we'll be seeing plenty of each other in the near future." I flash him smile #8, a touch embarrassed but excited.

  
"Oh I can hardly contain my excitement." I'm not used to my clients talking to me in such deadpan monotone, but I don't let it phase me. I will drag him _kicking and screaming_ to legal victory if need be.

  
"Option C does have a lot going for it, though there are certainly going to be some issues to be addressed." King Asgore brings us back on topic.

  
"Which one will build our houses _faster?"_ Undyne wants to know.

  
"I'm no expert in construction so I'm afraid I don't know." The itch to know is crawling up the back of my neck. If I have to admit ignorance three times in a single meeting I won't be able to let it rest. I'll end up spending every free moment in research.

  
Please don't make me admit ignorance three times in one meeting.

  
"What are subdivision housing?" Queen Toriel laid an elegant claw on the term.

  
"A district or community built with mainly modular housings. They're built to be almost identical, to streamline the whole process." At least this is something I know. Living in subdivision housing myself has finally come in handy.

  
"WAIT, ALL THE HOUSES LOOK THE SAME!?" The Mascot, Papyrus, looks flabbergasted. Shocked. Almost _appalled_ by the very thought. "HOW DOES SANTA KNOW WHO'S HOUSE IS WHO'S?"

  
The last time I got a question about Santa it was from a seven year old girl who wanted to know if Santa would remember who she was if she took her new daddy's last name.  
My response still serves me well, dusty though it may be.

  
"Santa knows where all the good little children live. That's part of his magic." A tension I didn't even realize was in the room fades away. I mentally confess confusion but move along quickly.

  
"AH, OF COURSE! HOW COULD ONE SUCH AS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, EVER HAVE DOUBTED HIM EVEN FOR AN INSTANT?" Papyrus shakes his fist at the sky.

  
I honestly can't tell if he's being earnest or just showboating. It's hard to read a skeleton.

  
"Now that gift-giving concerns have been laid to rest," I pause momentarily to see if perhaps the tiny ambassador or the scientist have anything to add. "Is Option C your choice? Nothing is set in stone yet, of course, so you are free to change your mind." Until and unless they sign a contract stating otherwise. Which I will have ten copies of.

  
"When do we get to the part where yours truly can strut his stuff for a whole new audience?" The celebrity leans forward, gears spinning and pose reminding you of some past clients. Not good clients but not bad ones either. Just a little lacking in common sense.

  
"I presume you mean media management? Well, you're in luck in that no few showbiz people are highly interested in exclusive interviews with monsters." I even have the relevant paperwork. I didn't think I'd need it today but the heavy-duty briefcase holds everything I might need for a case at any given time. The file is helpfully marked in pink.

  
Unlike the real estate papers, Monster Celebrity Mettaton absolutely _devours_ these copies. He asks questions too. Interesting and intelligent questions. He's going to be one of the good clients. I can already tell.

  
From there we move to Identification. I've helped people gain citizenship status before and I've dealt with more than one tangle in the identification issue. Pushing the two together isn't too much of a stretch, or at least I thought it wasn't. But human paperwork just isn't equipped for monster lifespans.

  
The amount of digging I had to do for even _possibly reliable_ Monster History was brutal, but still only crumbs in comparison to the real thing. I had suspicions that all record of monsters was purposely disposed of. But as I can't travel back in time to steal their libraries I am forced to, for the third time in a single meeting, admit ignorance.

  
"So how long do monsters live on average?" Smile #13 sneaks its way onto my lips. The smile that says _Help me, I'm drowning_. I hate that smile.

  
"It depends on the type of monster." Queen Toriel straightens up into a pose I instinctively recognize from my favorite teachers. "Those such as Froggits and Moldsmals live for sixty or seventy years on average. Others such as dog, cat, or rabbit monsters live to a hundred or so, only a bit longer than humans. Lizard, fish, and skeleton monsters live up to about five hundred." Here she paused, looking between herself and the king.

  
"Boss Monsters such as myself and Asgore are un-aging, until we have a child. As the child ages, so do we." I tried to nod like this made sense. I felt like a bubblehead. "Without a child, we could live forever."

  
"I see." I didn't. I was totally blind. I looked down at the paperwork I had prepared today to give the monarchy a head start on their citizenship papers.

  
Technically, there are no laws against being several hundred years old. I quickly skim through the rest of the relevant papers for any hang-ups. In the end I simply passed out all the copies and made room in my schedule to go over everything with fine toothed comb later. I paused at the tiny ambassador and his tinier interpreter.

  
"..." It was time to broach a subject that might get a little testy. "Frisk, before we go any farther than this, I have to ask you some legal questions. They might get pretty personal, but as you are my client as well," And when I saw the monster ambassador was a human _child_ I had _triple-checked_ everything.

  
"I promise I have only your best interests at heart. I just have to make sure everything is legal here and, if it's not, I have to _make_ it legal." They looked so nervous. And the side Queen Toriel was sitting on was suddenly ten degrees higher than the rest of the room. "Would it be possible to have a private meeting between the two of us? Your mother can wait nearby or if you're not comfortable talking to me I can call in a friend of mine who is an expert in child services."

  
They signed something, reminding me that the meeting I was proposing wouldn't be entirely private. Not unless I suddenly gained fluency in ESL within the next five minutes.

  
"Frisk says _'Are you going to take me away from Mom?_ '" His beady little eyes told me the answer had better be _no_.

  
"Not unless she suddenly proves herself to be either abusive or neglectful, and I doubt that's the case." I sniffed at the implication. I like kids. Most of them are honest little buggers and the ones I usually have to deal with didn't deserve the lot in life they got. Kids don't end up in court because they had happy lives.

  
I did remember I had some blank sheets in my briefcase, so I had Flowey removed from Frisk's person as we moved to another room. Queen Toriel followed and sat in the hallway to wait us out. Luckily she seemed to have cooled down, both figuratively and literally.

  
"Okay Frisk," I passed him/her (No one had used any pronouns yet!) some paper and two pens. Always good to have extra pens. "First, let's fill out the identity paperwork, that'll take care of a lot of the questions I already have." I stop them before they can put ink to precious, precious paper.

  
"Don't put a single lie there." I warned him/her. "Outside these four walls, no one else will ever see what is written here today. I promise. But if we're going to keep you where you are, _safe and happy_ , then I need to know the truth. Can you do that for me?"

  
His/her eyes glint with determination. Now that is a look I could recognize with both eyes closed. I see it in my compact mirror before every trial.

  
"Good," I feel oddly lopsided not able to add 'boy' or 'girl' to that. Avoiding gendered pronouns when I can't tell the gender of my own client is rather harrowing. Once they finish filling everything out my eyes immediately zero in on gender.

  
...

  
They have not, _technically_ , violated the sanctity of paperwork. They've written outside the boxes, but there was nothing saying they couldn't do that. It was just something that ought to have been _understood_.

  
In light of that, it actually takes me a few seconds to start reading.

  
Name: Frisk (Jennifer Hartwright, but I don't like that name.)

  
Age: Ten.

  
Birthdate: January 1st! (Actually it's April tenth but I put January 1st because I wanted to start over.)

  
Gender: Nothing. (I'm a girl but I don't feel like a girl and I don't feel like a boy either. I just want to be Frisk.)

  
Height: I don't know.

  
Weight: I don't know.

  
Married Status: I'm not married! I'm ten!

  
Country of Origin: England.

  
"Okay," I resist the urge to sigh. Never let your clients know how overwhelmed you are. "We'll take this from the top."

  
Thankfully, my handy-dandy heavy-duty briefcase has everything I need to get a start on this. If it is possible to keep this kid where... _they_ are happy, then by the fires of Endoor I will see it done!

  
"Frisk, I need to know where you were before you fell into Mt. Ebott and why you climbed it." I pass them a clean sheet of paper. "And who was supposed to be taking care of you. Where you lived and where you went to school might help."

  
Frisk apparently lived in Cornsbury, a three hour bus ride to Mt. Ebott. They lived in a foster home with four other people. The foster parents were a Mr. and Mrs. Thornberry who apparently did not respect Frisk's wish to be genderless. The other two people were other children, one being the biological child of the Thornberrys and one other foster child. Their names were Nick and Ethan.

  
Frisk had run away because the Thornberrys had started talking about adoption.

  
They ran away _four months_ ago.

  
On the one hand, that is very good for making sure the Thornberrys can't reclaim them. On the other, the monsters had escaped _one_ month ago. That leaves three months where Frisk was apparently living on the streets moving between homeless shelters to avoid being taken by the system again.

  
I asked about biological parents. Frisk only knew about their mother, who was apparently very sick and not capable of raising a child. Frisk had never met her before, but knew her name was Heather Hartwright. I'd have to look into that. There was a chance we could get bio-mom on board for Toriel to take charge of Frisk. And if not, then it was always good to have a little dirt on your prospective opponents.

  
Height and Weight, considering the three months of homelessness Frisk was probably in dire need of a check up. And we'd have to handle that soon too, before people started asking the really piercing questions. I estimated another six days before the sensationalism started wearing thin and people began actively looking for mud to throw.

  
"Alright, now I'm going to ask you some questions about the monsters and after that we'll get her Majesty in here to start making plans." I smiled, sweet and honest #1. My favorite smile.

  
"First off, has Toriel been taking good care of you? Does she respect your right to be..." Fuck, what was the term? "Non-gendered?" I got a little proud nod for that one. My night was officially booked with studying. I made a mental note to grab a coffee on the way home.

  
"Does she give you enough to eat? Good clothes to wear?" More nods. They didn't seem as nervous as they'd been when I first pulled them aside. "Are you ever afraid of her or any other monsters."

  
Ah, my first headshake. And a distinctly insulted one too.

  
"Sorry, had to ask. Legal reasons." I smile apologetically. I don't write anything down because this isn't an official interview and I did promise no one would see what was written here. Everything Frisk wrote down will unfortunately be shredded when I get home.

  
It pains me to shred anything but as a lawyer sometimes I have to make sacrifices for my client's sake.

  
"Alright, that's everything. Want to call your mother in now?" They jump out of their chair and run to the door. They barely get it open before they start signing rapidly. Even if I knew ESL I wouldn't be able to understand it from this angle.

  
"Oh, that is good to hear, my child." Queen Toriel sounds warmer than I've ever heard before. Considering this is our first face-to-face meeting that doesn't say much. Still, it'll help when I'm profiling a personality case later on. I'll also have to schedule interviews with some other people. Is she on good terms with any other humans? I want to cover all my bases here.

  
She steps in and doesn't grow any colder. In fact, I dare say she wanted to hug me.

  
"Your Majesty, please sit down." I smile back. "Let's talk about how best to keep Frisk exactly where they are now."

  
All we get is the most basic outline, and I get another subject to add to my studies, but that outline is worth it's weight in gold as far as this case goes. And considering I'm being paid in gold I think that's really saying something.

  
I rejoin the main group, reaffirm that I'm working in their interests, and then say my goodbyes. I do have to endure a Hug of Gratitude from Papyrus and a harsh slap on the back from Captain Undyne, but ultimately I make my escape.

  
Work doesn't end when I get home. My little subdivision is a mish-mash of books stacked in every corner with a few pieces of furniture to break up the pattern. There's a cat and assorted cat paraphernalia somewhere in the papery strata.

  
Ah, there he is. Inkdrop is a rescue. I found him tossed on the side of the road when he was about two weeks old, with horrible conjunctivitis in his eyes. They had to be removed when he was five weeks as the treatment was having no affect. He didn't seem to mind being permanently blind and he was the most fearless creature in creation.

  
He meowed and bumped into my ankle, orienting himself as he began to purr. I swept him up into my arms and carried him to the study. It had more books, folders, and binders than the rest of the house combined so it earned the title of 'study.' I set him down so he could figure out what room he was in now before I pulled out my laptop and began searching for what I needed.

  
By order of priority, the case of Jennifer Hartwright went up first. I mentally slotted construction details in second place with ESL rounding out at third.

  
Inkdrop jumped into my lap and I took a sip of fortifying coffee. It was going to be a long night.


	2. The Second Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, the second chapter of Ace Attorney! We see a little more of the Monster's Home Life and Ace Attorney arms herself for war!

In some ways, the Jennifer Hartwright case is going to be easy. Their mother is sick alright, she's a long-term resident in a psychiatry ward at a London hospital. No legal claim to Frisk whatsoever. That closes some doors but opens others. The Thornberrys might be an issue though.

According to what I've been able to dig up, they searched for Frisk. Looking at an old picture of them, I'm not surprised they were never found. Their hair had gone down to their waist and the clothes were all dresses. I couldn't find a single picture of Frisk in anything other than a dress or skirt after going to the Thornberrys. They'd also tanned a lot. All that time outdoors I guess.

But they had _searched._ That spoke well of them. The way a missing child search went, things got bleak after the first three days. After a month, the odds of finding the child dropped like a hot potato. Four months? That enters into the realm of miracles.

And Frisk had done a good job in disappearing. Not only had they changed their appearance but nothing in any of the research I did made it look like a runaway. Jennifer Hartwright had been out with her older foster brother at the zoo, and then he'd turned around and she'd _vanished_ into the crowd.

I felt a little bad thinking about how they must have worried. I was a little uncomfortable with them not respecting Frisk's chosen identity, but otherwise this looked like a stellar family. I pulled up their foster history to see if anything was there.

Okay, so, maybe not so stellar. Frisk hadn't been the first kid to run away from them. Looking at Jeremy Heelix's picture, I couldn't be sure if his circumstances were the same. Jeremy's file, once I got to it, had notes that he preferred _she_ , but all pictures provided by the Thornberrys showed a quiet, nervous boy. One day, Jeremy had left for school and just never got there. It was hours before anyone knew _she_ was missing and she hadn't been found yet. If she was still alive she'd be sixteen now. She'd disappeared six years ago.

So, the Thornberrys were transphobic. That was...not excellent to hear in a moral sense but in an _I'm a lawyer and I will use any hint of weakness against you_ sense it was perfect. Helped build a strong case for if they tried getting to Frisk.

I wasn't confident they would, given the personal search for Jennifer had died out two weeks before monsters re-emerged. The police were still searching, and she was on a few missing child websites, but that could be handled. And the Thornberrys seemed very happy with their new foster daughter anyway. This kid, Laura Kindler, actually looked happy in her most recent photos.

Keeping Frisk out of the Thornberrys hands would be a snap, keeping them in _Toriel's_ hands was another matter. I had a feeling any adoption suits would be bogged down in court for months. We could get Frisk legally instated as the Monster Ambassador easily, I'd bring it up tomorrow and I already had the required paperwork. The monsters being a separate government worked in our favor here, assuming they had no laws against human children serving in office.

Which...means I should probably research monster law. Soon. I...Oh god, I'm having flashbacks to university. The days where I lived on coffee and spite.

I knew when I accepted this job that it wasn't a one-woman mission, but I did hope to have a little more time to handpick my team.

I did already have candidates in mind. My eyes went up to the corkboard on the wall. Pictures and resumes of my best connections were there. I wondered if I should ask about getting a monster or two on my team. Just because they didn't know about human laws didn't mean they didn't have lawyers of their own. Were lawyers a thing when they still walked the Earth?

No, I'm pretty sure lawyers were always a thing. From the time man first crawled out of the mud and began to argue. I refuse to believe there was ever a time or place in which legal counsel was not needed.

I'm going to have to put off construction research for the time being. That means Diana Worschten is almost guaranteed a spot on the team. How big would the team need to be and how big would the monarchs _allow_ it to be? I hoped I earned enough good will today to get them to trust me. They did seem rather appreciative of my efforts.

Diana was a shoe-in. Can I convince Corbin to join up? He'd be invaluable for his criminal justice expertise once the rest of humanity started blaming monsters for things, and he had a background in racial discrimination. He owed me a favor but was that favor enough to get him on board?

I snorted as I realized the monarchs would probably offer to pay him in gold. Corbin would chew off his left hand if it would get him that kind of glitter. He was good at his job but he didn’t become a lawyer for the same reasons I had. I should probably write up some contracts.

Diana and Corbin, at the very least. I needed to get some hard numbers on the monster population too.

It was already three in the morning. Tomorrow was now _today._ I needed to get some sleep if I was going to be at my best.

I picked Inkdrop up from my lap and carried him off to bed.

For the first time in my career the heavy-duty briefcase was struggling to hold everything I needed it to. I eyed the clasps with trepidation, questioning for the first time if ten copies of everything might be a little excessive.

But I needed these. The papers, the references, the binders and folders, the character references, the pictures and resumes of my prospective dream team. What if Mettaton wanted a more in depth talk about show business? What if the Captain needed that briefing on human law keepers? And I had no idea what the Royal Scientist might need so I just did a shallow review and cherry picked anything that pinged on my radar. And the Judge? Should I try to compile a list of laws and their punishments for him to review? He hadn’t really said anything yesterday.

It was now 8:30. I needed to leave no later than 8:45 to make it on time. I'd be driving for two hours to reach the temporary housing on Mt. Ebott. The car was already packed with the essentials. I'd arranged for the teenager next door to keep Inkdrop fed and watered if I was gone for more than a day.

I suspiciously squinted at my heavy-duty briefcase as I moved to the kitchen. My pot of coffee was done. The first sip brought back some basic humanity. The second sip reminded me of the thrill of victory. The third sip made me go to the bathroom. The fourth sip convinced me I was safe to drive.

When I returned to the study the briefcase was sitting where I left it, still clasped shut. I considered bringing a second briefcase but that just seemed unprofessional. Who ever heard of a lawyer who had to carry two briefcases with them? Sure, my heavy-duty briefcase was twice the size of a standard one, but it was perfect for my needs. People respected a lawyer with a ton of paperwork.

I fixed my pantsuit, checked my hair and makeup, then re-filled my coffee cup before getting on the road.

Two peaceful hours later, I was pulling past the perimeter set up around Mt. Ebott. A chain link fence ten feet high went around the entire settlement. I was surprised there wasn’t any barbed wire. _That_ would have to go pretty soon. The government had already changed the borders in the last meeting.

Two sets of guards were at the gates. One set was human and one set was monsters. It was nice to see there were already some collaboration between the species. We could build on that.

Heh... _Build_. I made a funny.

The temporary housing was...Well, I really hoped Diana could whip up a miracle. I was already re-evaluating the size of the favor I was going to owe her. Probably something along the lines of my first-born child. Jokes on her because I plan to have those bits removed as soon as I hit thirty.

Well, one more year to go on that countdown. Thirty is sort of like the last big milestone before you start getting social security checks, isn't it? Should I do something for it? When was the last time I stepped into a bar?

Temporary though it might've been, it was clear the government had put in a little extra elbow grease when it came to the monarch's new home. It was three times as big as the surrounding houses. There was even a flower garden out front. Of sorts. Really more of a patch of mud with some sickly looking daisies.

I parked and checked my briefcase to make sure it hadn't exploded and released its contents during the trip. I noticed some monsters walking down the street as I straightened up. They waved and I felt obligated to wave back, sending them both smile #2, friendly.

Good relations achieved, I marched up to the front door and knocked briskly.

"LAWYER HUMAN! SO WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU ARRIVE EXACTLY ON TIME! PLEASE, COME IN!" I wonder if he's always this loud.

"Mr. Papyrus, will you be attending this meeting as well?" I wasn't sure what role a mascot had in a monarchy. Was it an actual official title? Was it a people relations move? I should add that to the list of questions in need of answers.

"OF COURSE! MY JOB IS TO HELP EASE RELATIONS BETWEEN HUMANS AND MONSTERS! IF I AM TO DO MY JOB THEN I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT...COMPLICATED LAWYER THINGS THAT USE WORDS I'VE NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE!" His excited boasting ended a little weakly. "AHEM, YOUR BRIEFCASE LOOKS EVEN BIGGER AND HEAVIER THAN IT DID YESTERDAY!"

"Yes, I added a few things for today's meeting." He steps aside to allow me to enter. The conditions are rather bare, but from the mild clutter it is easy to tell this is a _lived-in_ house. A few action figures on the floor, a basket of knitting supplies by the couch, all very lovely. On the side table there was a rock sitting on a plate. Covered in sprinkles.

"Ah, Ms. ____________," King Asgore stepped out of the kitchen to greet me. "Please come in, Toriel has prepared refreshments."

"That sounds lovely, thank you for your hospitality." With breakfast having slipped my mind it was good to hear I'd be getting something to eat as we got started on the real work.

"Will everyone from yesterday be joining us?" I ask him as we sit down at the table. It is nearly twice as large as my family's dining table. Which left it at just short of cramped for the two boss monsters, two skeletons, one ambassador, one celebrity, and one lawyer sitting around it.

"Captain Undyne is on duty patrolling the fence and Dr. Alphys is back in the Underground working on the Core, so they will not be joining us today." King Asgore informed me. Queen Toriel sets out a fruit tray with three different dipping sauces. I see we're enjoying finger foods for this meeting.

"Ms. ____________, would you care for some tea?" She asks.

"That would be lovely, thank you." I accepted a cup from her. I wasn't familiar with this fragrance, but the taste was divine. I’d have to ask where they got it.

Frisk came into the kitchen carrying a flower pot, within which stood Flowey the Flower. I greeted them both, receiving a happy nod from Frisk and a hiss from Flowey.

He's going to be one of the bad clients. I can tell.

"I've come prepared for just about everything," Actually everything, but saying so would make me seem cocky. "But I leave it up to you what order we discuss them in."

"I believe we should get Frisk's situation out of the way first." Queen Toriel folded her hands as she sat down. "I want everything to be as above-board as possible."

"Alright then," I pulled out the necessary paperwork, then hesitated before passing it out. "Frisk, are you comfortable with everyone in this room knowing the full story? We can arrange things between your parents and I if not."

"Frisk says ' _I trust everyone here. I just want to be able to stay with Mom.'_ " Flowey relayed while Frisk held a thumbs up.

"Very good," I handed out the copies. I wasn't sure if Flowey should get his own copy. I decided to err on the side of caution.

"What's this?" He squinted suspiciously at the document.

"Your copy, Mr. Flowey." Now he just looked even more suspicious.

On these copies was the basic outline of our plan of attack. First, ensuring that Frisk's office was fully legal and had as long a timeframe as we could manage. Most ambassadorships were held for three years across the world, but I wasn't sure that held true for monsters and that would leave Frisk at thirteen. Better than ten, but if possible I'd like them to be eighteen before their term ended.

"The first step is a simple matter." King Asgore commented. "We have already legally filed Frisk as our human-monster ambassador. Although it has been a long time since Monster kind has needed an ambassador the laws still hold. Their term shall last five years, upon which a vote will be held to determine if they continue or if they will be replaced."

"Five years," Considering the fact Frisk had freed them from the Underground I reasoned they had a very good shot at being re-elected in five years. "That's good. And there's no restrictions on age?"

Here we hit our first little snag. It wasn’t much of one, but I could name three people off the tip of my tongue who’d use it against us in a _heartbeat._

"Being above-board," Queen Toriel cleared her throat. "I will tell you that the old law states that the monster who wishes to work as ambassador must number no less than ten years and have attended at least five years of formal schooling."

Oh, very nice, they used loopholes!

"Excellent," I resisted the urge to rub my hands together. "Then we can safely move on to step two."

The next step was to ensure Frisk had full monster citizenship. With their preferred name and information.

"SO IF WE DO THIS FRISK WILL BE A MONSTER! WOWIE! THE LEGAL SYSTEM IS SO FASCINATING!" Papyrus seemed to be enjoying himself.

"heh, will the humans really let one of their own get snapped up like that?" It was the first time the Judge had spoken. I wondered if he might be able to aid me in researching monster laws.

"Best case scenario, we'd streamline Frisk's adoption through Queen Toriel and they'd have dual citizenship." I didn't like banking on best case scenarios though. Not with the protests raging right now.

"Frisk having monster citizenship would almost guarantee they wouldn't be taken away. I think our best choice of action is to have this set in reserve. Sooner or later people are going to be making a fuss about Frisk being a human child in monster hands." I carefully did not look at anyone's hands or lack thereof. What did you call their Majesties’ hands? Paws? No, I wasn’t going to make any assumptions here. Hands is safer.

"When they do so we can hold up these documents and say that Frisk is fully within their rights to live with Queen Toriel." I did wonder about King Asgore. Was he not included in this little family? No one was saying anything about it and it wasn't my place to ask.

"We have never needed paperwork to mark who was a citizen of ours and who was not." With one sentence King Asgore ripped apart the very foundation of everything I stood for.

"Never?" I blinked. My rational mind hurried to soothe the obsessive half. _Of course they wouldn't need to, his full title is King of All Monsters so All Monsters are his citizens. Just being a monster is enough._

But did that mean they had no full census on their population? No clear numbers of _this_ many Froggits and _that_ many fish-women?

_No, I'm sure they didn't go that far. Monarchies mean taxes. Taxes means someone's counting the beans. Bean counting means there is_ paperwork.

"Okay, okay, this is a slight setback." I took a deep, calming breath. "Well, your people must use some kind of identification. Let's get Frisk set on that."

"you want to see ID? well, i've got my librarby card." Mr. Sans pulled out a _library_ card, though I did notice the library was indeed called the Librarby.

"I don't understand." My first admittance of ignorance of the day. "How do you apply for jobs? Prove your age? _Prevent identity theft?_ "

"magic." He was taunting me.

"Don't taunt your lawyer." I snapped instinctively. "And explain _exactly_ what you mean by magic." _‘_ Magic’ wouldn’t hold up in court. No one really understood what monster magic was or how it worked. I know a lot of people were worried about that and a lot more were using it as fuel for the fires of hatred. They claimed monsters could teleport and read minds and _control_ people. Utter nonsense I’m sure.

"We just use a Check when we want to verify someone's identity." King Asgore answered for him.

"Use a check?" I repeated in confusion.

"Yes, it is a magical means of identification. Using it shows the subject's name, health, and age." Queen Toriel kindly explained.

So...I had to work around a society that never had any need for ID because all they had to do was _look_ at someone and know immediately who they were talking to.

"Okay," This was a problem I never dreamed of facing. Except for that one time when I had that nightmare that all paperwork had mysteriously vanished. This wasn't that bad. If there was no precedent for this then I would _make_ a precedent!

"Okay, humans can't use Checks and that's going to cause problems if monsters have no other way of proving their identity." I tapped my fingertips together as I plotted.

"HUMANS CAN'T USE CHECKS AT ALL? THEN HOW DO YOU FIND OUT IF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE ILL? HOW DO YOU KEEP CHILDREN FROM SNEAKING INTO PLACES THEY SHOULD NOT BE IN?" Papyrus's eyes...eye sockets...boggled.

Ignoring that until I can come up with a proper description.

I pulled out my government issue ID, as well as my Driving License.

"This is my government ID, it has my name, birthdate, basic description, and dependent status on it. This proves that I am indeed __________, I am indeed 29 years of age, and I have no spouse or children depending on my income." I then pointed to the Driver's License. "This also has my name and certifies that I know the laws of the road and I promise to follow them. It also has my picture on it, though given the picture was taken seven years ago I'll probably have to renew it soon."

"FASCINATING!" He declared, paying special attention to the license. "WHAT DOES ORGAN DONOR MEAN? YOU HAVE AN ORGAN? UNDYNE PLAYS THE PIANO BUT WE'VE NEVER SEEN A REAL ORGAN BEFORE!"

"Organ donor means that, in the event I were to die in a car crash, my organs, such as my heart, lungs, kidneys, or similar, could be transferred to someone else in order to save their life." I explain patiently. Explaining things makes it easier for me to calm down.

"you mean, if you die they'll just reach inside you, take your heart or something, and put it in someone else?" Sans's eye sockets went dark. Presumably in shock and/or disgust.

"Try not to be too shocked by it. Sometimes a person's own organs are weaker than the surrounding flesh and a person could die if they don't get a replacement." I noticed the monarchs listening just as intently and wondered where their medical advances were. The skeleton brothers I could understand not knowing as they have no organs to worry about, but the fleshier monsters?

I need to find a medical expert. A human and monster one preferably. Frisk still needs a full physical.

"WOWIE, THERE'S SO MUCH ABOUT THE SURFACE WE DON'T KNOW! I'M LEARNING NEW THINGS EVERY DAY!" Papyrus crowed in joy as I finished giving a brief summary about terminal diseases. I made a note to look into getting him in to visit some hospital kids as a show of good press.

"These IDs, would they suffice for identification in the human world?" Queen Toriel brought us back on track, holding out my ID.

"There should also be some sort of archive or database where your people's legal files are stored, but yes, the IDs would suffice for most situations. We may need to alter the format somewhat." If we wanted monsters to use these they should probably include some of the things that would show up in a Check. Though the health part would probably not make it into the final design. "We'll need one for at least every legal adult and any teenager who wishes to leave the Mt. Ebott area in the future."

"May I please see your latest population census? And perhaps the census for the last ten years?" I requested politely. "And we'll need someone to design the database, forms, and ID. We need to centralize this as quickly as possible."

This would be the biggest and perhaps longest running case of my career. I was _excited!_


	3. Learning New Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter this time, but we're making excellent progress! And the next chapter is going to be a real doozy! I'll see you all next week!

Dr. Alphys would be handling the designs. I worked with her for most of the day, catching her up on the game plan and then showing her what the human versions of everything looked like. It took a lot of careful tweaking to make something that would work for all monster species, but we finished at around two in the afternoon.

Their population census, once provided, worried me. It was like a bad joke. How many monsters can fit under a mountain?

Ten years ago, the answer was 15,000. Today, the answer was 11,300. That was just for general monsters. Specific species had it worse.

I dearly wanted to speak to a monster lawyer but I didn't have the _time._ The monarchy should not have been so agreeable of giving me their census. Especially not in the form of a box of scrolls. Especially not a box of scrolls with population census dating back _a hundred years._ Especially not without _making me sign some sort of NDA!_

Note: Never let any of my clients speak to another human lawyer I do not have complete and total trust in. Especially unsupervised.

I looked, because I had not signed an NDA and because they were there and because no one told me _not to._ The population over the last hundred years was odd. The numbers never went higher than 20,000. And it seemed that seventy years ago there was a large bump in population, bringing them to a record high of 18,500. It had been decreasing ever since, with a much more noticeable down curve in the last ten years.

I didn't want to distract Dr. Alphys when she was busy formatting paperwork, so I took the _cardboard box_ to Queen Toriel to ask my questions. I found her in the living room, giving an English lesson to Frisk. She was happy to accompany me to the kitchen, leaving Frisk to work alone.

"Queen Toriel, I'm sorry if this seems rude or ignorant, but may I ask why the monster population has been so unsteady?" I set the box on the table. "If the reduction continues at this rate, you'll qualify for endangered status within the next five years."

"Endangered status?" She quirked her head to the side, folding up the reading glasses she'd been wearing.

"Endangered status means a species is coming close to going _extinct_ , your Majesty." I told her bluntly. "There are many creatures in the animal kingdom that hold that unenvied status. I don't want to see _monsters_ added to that list."

"I see," She sighed and rolled open the scroll with the most recent census. "Well, I can tell you with a measure of relief that my people are in no danger of going extinct. The down curve you witnessed is a result of low birthrates and an increase in Falling."

"Falling? The mountain was structurally unsound?" Oh, that was horrifying. To be innocently walking along and to have the Earth open up beneath you. I'd often wished for such as a teenager but never thought it could actually _happen._

"No, my dear," She smiled reassuringly. "When a monster says Falling Down, they mean a loss of the will to live. It most commonly occurs in the elderly. Monsters are not wholly physical beings and when we experience prolonged periods of hopelessness, we sometimes fall into comas before eventually turning to dust."

That's right, monsters don't leave bodies behind. That's something you remember from your initial research when they first reappeared on the scene. When a monster dies all that is left is dust.

"Being trapped underground for so long, I am unsurprised that our population suffered from an epidemic of Fallen." She sighed tiredly, looking towards the living room where Frisk sat at the coffee table. "Our suffering birthrates is also understandable. Some monsters did not see the point in birthing a new generation to die under the rock."

"Now that my people have hope again, I expect the birthrates to rise." She smiled now, happier but still subdued.

I wanted to ask about the population bump seventy years ago, but that wasn't an answer I needed to know. Instead I focused on species specific numbers. There were quite a few of those who _did_ qualify for endangered status.

Plant based monsters, at least that's what I got from their names, suffered the most Underground. Understandably, lack of sun and all that. Vegetoids though, despite the name, had flourished well. Toriel explained that Vegetoids were _root_ based monsters, so that was cleared up. Tree monsters and other plants though? Few of those still survived, but apparently, they were doing better as of twenty years ago, when Dr. Alphys had discovered the human concept of greenhouses and figured out how to make something similar underground. Toriel expected them to be among the first to welcome a new generation now that the surface was open to them.

Of the animal based monsters, the birds had suffered the most. Followed by fish monsters. Toriel apparently noticed that some species were no longer included in the census, meaning some of them had already gone extinct.

After satisfying my curiosity I excused myself to call Diana so we could start the building project right away. Asgore had already given me the names and contacts of the best monster construction companies.

"Diana Worschten, practicing real estate and company contracts, how can I help you?" Ah, the sound of my dearest and closest friend.

"Diana, it's __________. I have some new clients in dire need of some new lodgings." I smirked, though she couldn't see it.

"_______! So good to hear from you! Well of course you know I'd give priority to any client of yours! Who are you representing?" She laughed, delighted.

"The Monster Kingdom." I waited out her shocked and jealous splutters. She cursed my name and ancestry for a few minutes before calming down. We arranged for her to visit Mt. Ebott tomorrow at three for a meeting. We then arranged to sit down for a cup of coffee this weekend.

I called the foremen for the monster companies and asked them if they could attend a meeting tomorrow at three. As a matter of fact they _could_ and they were excited to. I thought they might be.

I stepped back inside and saw the whole group filling out the necessary paperwork for their new IDs. A round of pictures followed and Dr. Alphys proudly presented us with the first ever monster ID. Frisk smiled up at the camera, with Flowey poking his head into the frame of the lower right corner.

And thus did Frisk Dreemurr have full monster citizenship. I especially liked the emergency contact section. The golden stamp of the monarch's symbol made everything look very official.

"N-Now all we have t-to d-d-do is g-get one made f-for every a-adult." Dr. Alphys giggled nervously.

"Alphys, that is a process which could take weeks." King Asgore pointed out. "And you are needed in the Core. Don't you think it's high time you hire an assistant?"

"O-Oh, I-I c-couldn't _possibly!_ " She protested, wringing her hands.

"No, Dr. Alphys," Queen Toriel had the faintest hint of a frown on her face. "Trying to do the work of an entire team on your own is foolishness. And there are many monsters in the scientific community who would be overjoyed to work for the Royal Scientist."

"I-I guess?" She didn't sound convinced, but she did sound _beaten_.

"That goes for you as well, Ms. _________." Queen Toriel turned on me. "You said yourself that this job is too big for one person. You have our permission to do what you must to assemble a team of your own."

I didn't even have to bring it up myself! Excellent!

"I've already got two candidates in mind." I smiled good old #3. "Although, if you could point me in the direction of one or two monster lawyers as well, it would be much appreciated."

"Asgore," She faced him. "Do you have anyone in mind?"

"I believe Tristroot would be overjoyed at the opportunity." He mused thoughtfully. "I do not know any other lawyers personally but I am sure he has a few more suggestions he could give you. I will contact him and arrange a meeting. Would the day after tomorrow be acceptable?"

"Any time between ten and six, if you'd please, your Majesty." I was going to meet a monster lawyer! Yes! Monster law! I wonder if I could take night classes.

No, no. Calm down, ___________. You've got a job to do. Don't let yourself get distracted. Even by foreign law. You already took two courses on that to match your other languages.

After that, I decide to start stockpiling interviews with all my clients regarding Frisk. Just the basic things, getting a character profile for her Majesty. They've got nothing but good things to say about her obviously. Flowey refused to be interviewed, but I got to the rest of them over the course of the day. The interviews went more or less like this.

"What would you say are Toriel's flaws?" I'd ask.

"O-Oh, uhm, s-she can b-be a-a, uhm, a little smothering sometimes? Uh, she's r-really strict about e-eating properly a-and g-getting enough sleep." Someone would answer.

"What are her best qualities?" I'd ask.

"heh, definitely her sense of humor. She'll start howling as soon as you crank out the knock knock jokes." Someone would answer.

The hardest part was interviewing the lady herself. I had to give her a run-down of the sort of questions asked in court so we could prepare her answers. Things definitely got heated when I mentioned _relationships_ and the fact it would undoubtedly be brought up.

Toriel and Asgore were separated, but not divorced. Not yet anyway. Which explained why everyone referred to her as Frisk's mother but Asgore didn't get mentioned as their father. They had agreed, shortly after the barrier broke, to present a united front to the humans and to safeguard their people. Even when they did divorce they'd keep their respective titles.

That would be something else for me to handle, but it wasn't urgent. It could wait. It was a relief to work with a couple of sensible people. No petty fighting over the family dog and the house and the child support.

She wouldn't discuss the details of why they separated, only that it occurred after the deaths of their children. That was an easy win in court so I let that be. I think the hardest thing for her to understand was that people would be interested in her _future_ relationships.

"I don't understand. Why would they wish to speak about events which have not yet occurred?" She frowned. She'd been much more emotive today. I didn't know if that was because she was warming up to me or if it was the surroundings. Maybe she felt more comfortable at home?

"Partly, to ensure no future relationship will cause Frisk any undue stress." I gave her the reasonable answer before continuing with the petty ones. "Partly because some people will use any and all means to make their opponents lose, and we _will_ have opponents. And partly because people are nosy by nature and if anyone has ever told you that they are not a gossip, then they were lying."

"Do you deal with situations like these often, Ms. __________?" She asked, curious herself.

"Family cases? It is one of my specialties." __________, practicing Family and Civil Rights law. It's on my office door and everything, though I don't actually do much work in that office. I prefer to meet my clients in their homes and do my work at _my_ home.

"You haven't been stymied by anything we put before you yet, not for more than a minute or two." She pointed out. "As I understand it long lost civilizations don't appear requiring legal counsel every night."

"I'm well-read. Although my specialties are in Family and Civil Rights, which matches your criteria quite nicely, I have also studied Financial, Criminal, and Corporate law. If I don't know the answer to something then I know someone who _does_. Or I do research. I spent most of last night researching Frisk's case."

"But if you're asking about my _competency,_ " I'd gone to _them_ first. Lawyers are usually the ones called on, not the other way around, but I'd wanted to get my name out there with the fairy tale story that had suddenly come to life. So I'd taken a chance and called them, introduced myself, emailed my credentials and resume. I'd been accepted barely an hour later.

"I _love_ being a lawyer. Life's not fair, but I can make it a little fairer than it was before." I smiled fan favorite #1. "To do that though, I need to _win._ And to win I have to be as prepared as possible. I have to be better prepared than my opponents. That means I _research._ I make _connections._ I have a job I love, so I give it everything I've got. And at the end of the day it doesn't feel very much like work at all."

She stopped to consider this for several moments. Her head was tilted, her mouth hanging ever so slightly open. Her eyes were as big around as dinner plates.

"Your soul is shining." She finally said.

"Pardon?" Was that a local saying?

"Your soul," She waved a hand to my chest, making me realize her eyes had been pinned there for several minutes. She's so much taller than me it's hard to tell when she's not looking me in the eye. "It's shining right now."

"You can...see my soul?" I placed a protective hand over my chest.

"Not all the time, my dear, only when it shines brightly." She rushed to reassure me. "You must truly love your work."

"...Souls are real?" What else could I say? I'd never believed in God and so never believed in an immortal soul. I'd always assumed people were people because of the unique synapses in our minds and a quirk of fate. Happenstance and nothing more, beautiful in its randomness.

Come to think of it, that didn’t explain people like skeletons who didn’t have a physical brain. My understanding of the world was taking a bit of a beating today.

"My dear, why do you think the war began? It was always about souls." She frowned at me.

"There is almost _nothing_ on Monsters, and none of that mentions souls. There was barely anything about a war or a barrier." It was my turn to cock my head to the side. "Could you explain, please?"

"Oh my," She straightened up, putting on a teacher's poise. "A soul is a person's innermost being, everything surrounding it is simply trappings by which we interact with the world. Every living thing has a soul, though monsters and humans have the most powerful ones naturally. Plants and animals also have souls, but they are much smaller and shaped differently."

"How so?" I quirked my brows, honestly fascinated. This wasn't religious mumbo jumbo, this was spoken as _fact._ Which I could stomach much easier than _faith._

"Plants and animal souls are shaped like circles. Monster and human souls are shaped like hearts, inverted hearts for the monsters. But the shape isn't what matters, it's the _color._ " She explained.

"There are seven soul colors, though of course every shade between them exists. Those colors are Red, Cyan, Orange, Blue, Green, Purple, and Yellow. These colors are associated with traits." She began listing them. I pulled out a fresh sheet of paper and began taking notes. "Red for Determination. Cyan for patience. Orange for Bravery. Blue for Integrity. Green for Kindness. Purple for Perseverance. Yellow for Justice. Every person has a main trait, through which they channel all the others. The clearer your color is, the stronger the trait."

"Could you give me an example?" I was smiling. I knew I was, and it wasn't a business smile. This was smile #4, _joy and wonder._

"Your soul is yellow, almost solid yellow, but when it shone I could see hints of blue and green. This means your main trait is justice, with secondary traits of integrity and kindness. If you take a kind action, you will likely pursue it in a way that is _fair._ " She throws your own word at you with a teasing lilt to her voice.

"Huh," I considered that for a moment and tried to remember any specific moments.

A memory popped into my head. I was fifteen and awkward and trying to figure out my first relationship and...

Noticed the guy I was with making eyes with another guy.

Derrick had barricaded himself in the closet, too afraid of people's opinions to venture out. And...it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that something like a crush had to be guarded like a national secret just because of _opinion._ It wasn't fair that someone had to be scared because of the way they felt.

So I talked to him, and asked if there was anything I could do to help.

Thus ended my first relationship. Two years later I began identifying myself as ace and left the dating scene behind. But that first relationship had stuck with me. A little kindness and a desire to make things _fair._

"That's amazing." Maybe most people would've made the leap to ask about religion after that, but honestly, why? None of it had ever made sense to me. The knowledge that souls were an actual thing did not give anything I remembered from the bible new meaning. Souls were real, magic walked the Earth again. That was enough for me.

I looked over at the recorder still winding on the table top. I chuckled and switched it off, erasing the entire conversation.

"This interview got a bit off topic. Let's take it from the top." I pressed start.

After walking Queen Toriel through it all two more times, we were finally able to finish her interview. I hadn't even gotten this distracted with Papyrus. I'd have to make sure that didn't become a habit.

Still, it was nice to have a friendly conversation with someone and learn something new. I could see myself sitting down to a cup of tea with her Majesty sometime in the future, talking more about souls and Frisk and cultural differences. I loved it when a client became a friend.


	4. Building a Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit longer than the last one, I think? Have more Ace Attorney! Now let's see if I can shake off that writer's block before next Saturday.

I met Diana in front of the monarch's house. I'd maybe been up a few hours later than I should've been preparing things. I was regretting it now. Twenty-nine was too old to be getting on with three hours of sleep. I had to take better care of myself to do the best work I could.

"_______, how have you been?" Diana was a little younger than me. She'd interned at the office building I 'technically' worked out of and we'd hit it off. I'd helped her establish her own practice and we got together on the weekends to discuss something other than work.

"I've been great!" I laughed as I greeted her. "You know how much I enjoy my work."

"I'm still not convinced you aren't some sort of cyborg programmed to implement law." She joked.

"Wait until you meet an actual robot." I advised her. "He's something of a celebrity in these parts."

"You mentioned monster construction teams? Have they arrived yet?" She leaned forward eagerly.

"No, you're a tad early." Nearly fifteen minutes. "But the robot Mettaton, as well as the rest of my clients, are inside at the moment." I told her. I gave her a brief rundown on them, including the fact that Frisk was legally a monster citizen. She didn't question it overly much, just remarked how interesting it was

“There’s some papers you need to sign, of course.” NDAs, first off, but also standard team contracts. I considered Diana one of my best friends but I would never dream of compromising my work by being sloppy. She read over all the agreements and signed them at the kitchen table just as the doorbell rang. Papyrus, lovely dear that he was, went to answer it. The more I was around him the better suited he seemed for mascot. He had the personality of a puppy.

For a moment, I idly fantasized about somehow distilling his personality into a bottle and using it to take over the world.

“Huh, so these are the human lawyers.” Two monsters, one of them a grizzly bear in coveralls and the other a duck with an unlit cigar hanging from his bill. It was the grizzle who’d spoken.

“Indeed. I am ____________, head of the newly established law team for the monsters.” I held out my hand. “This is my longtime friend and associate, Diana Worschten. She knows everything there is to know about construction laws here on the surface.”

“Charmed,” She smiled warmly, waiting for her turn to receive a handshake from a life-sized teddy bear.

“I’m Grarrl, chief of New Home Construction. This is Whistler, he’s chief of Waterfall Construction.” The bear foreman grinned, showcasing an impressive array of fangs.

“As this isn’t my field of expertise, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” I moved places and sat on the couch, gently opening my briefcase to get some of my own work out of the way. I brought out my personal outline first to double-check my next move. Now, where was Asgore?

I shut my briefcase and went searching. He wasn’t upstairs in his room or the study. Actually, the house seemed rather empty just now. Captain Undyne was likely at work, I had no idea what Mr. Sans’ work week was like, Queen Toriel and Frisk were…Not in their room. I knocked on the door to be on the safe side.

“Who’s there!” Flowey’s sour voice answered.

“Pardon the intrusion, but I was wondering if you perhaps knew where King Asgore might be?” I called through the door. I hadn’t known Flowey shared a room with Queen Toriel and Frisk. Then again, they did seem to reside in a flower pot when at ‘home’ so it wasn’t like they took up much room.

“He’s out back, now go away and stop bothering me!” He grumbled.

“My apologies, and thank you for your help.” He really was a rude little guy. How did he snag a job as Frisk’s interpreter? Everyone else in this household seemed fluent in ESL. I was rather envious of their ability.

No, _____________, you can be jealous later. It’s on the research list.

I went downstairs and out the backdoor. It opened into a large field. I’d call it a backyard, but it was too empty to deserve the name. It was more like a lot behind the house. Asgore was kneeling by a few flowers, investigating them with the tips of his claws.

“Pardon the intrusion,” I cleared my throat, standing back a little until he looked up. “Do you have a moment? I wanted to discuss our battle plan with you.”

“Oh,” He looked to his right side with a pinched look, then seemed to deflate upon realizing nothing was there. “The Queen is usually more suited to the politics of the job. She has gone grocery shopping with Frisk, if you were looking for her.”

“I was looking for _you_ , your Majesty.” I smiled softly. Smile #10, gentle and encouraging. I had the feeling King Asgore was best handled with the kid gloves.

Oh… _Kid._ I made a funny.

_Do. Not. Laugh._

“You are the king of your people, and I was wondering what direction you hoped to lead them in.” I held up my papers, keeping my expression schooled.

“I see,” I could see he resisted the urge to again glance to his right. It made me wonder how long the King and Queen had been separated, and how long they were together, for that to be such a deeply ingrained habit. “Perhaps you’d like to join me for tea then? You seemed to enjoy the golden flower tea from yesterday.”

“Is that the name of it?” I perked up. “I’ve never had anything else like it. It was delicious.” He seemed honestly pleased by the compliment and led me inside. There, we found the Construction Team bent over several maps. They’d taken over the entire kitchen table and were talking about…weather?

“King Asgore, can you believe this mumbo jumbo?” The duck foreman flapped his wing at Diana. “Storms that can knock over _trees!_ And different seasons all in one place!”

Oh…I hadn’t considered this. How _long_ had monsters been underground? Several generations for sure, even for their longer lived members. Long enough to forget how the surface _worked_? Clearly.

“She speaks the truth, Whistler.” King Asgore chuckled as he put a kettle on to boil. “We have been blessed with fine weather so far, but it will not remain forever. We will be entering Summer in two months.” His eyes grew unfocused, distant.

“Summer in this area is as hot as the border between Hotland and New Home,” He sighed, still looking into that middle space. “The Sun shines brightly for the whole season, save for those times when fierce thunder storms sweep through. To see lightning again and hear thunder, to tramp through the mud on those days,”

He stopped, coming back to himself. I saw the tension rise in his shoulders and then be forcibly smoothed out. His eyes flicked towards us, I tried to smile encouragingly but he looked away too quick to see it. He busied his hands with pulling out a box of tea.

“Forgive my rambling, friends. Even I can be caught off guard by old memories.” He laughed. “Amazing, the things one can miss.”

“Sheesh, I’m used to weather being something that stays in it’s area and happens according to a schedule.” Whistler…whistled. “You mean it really just _happens_ up here, without anybody making it?”

“Monsters can make weather?” I felt one of my brows raise incredulously.

“Within small areas, yes.” Asgore nodded. “Some of our people can’t survive long in different climates, especially the old and young. Underground, we had to learn quickly how to simulate the environments they needed.”

“There are four main regions in the Underground,” Grarrl nodded along. “Five, if you count the Ruins. There’s Snowdin, Waterfall, Hotland, and New Home. Snowdin’s got winter all year long, with snow and ice and all. It’s always raining in Waterfall and is pretty humid even where it’s not. Hotland’s, well, _hot_ and there’s some open magma pools for the fire elementals. New Home’s sort of like here, nice mild temperature.”

“What about the Ruins?” Diana cocked her head curiously.

“Eh, sorta chilly I guess? They’re near Snowdin.” Grarrl shrugged. “Ain’t many monsters been down that way, it’s why we call it the Ruins.”

“Between each region is a sub-region, the border land.” Whistler continued the explanation. “Between Snowdin and Waterfall it’s cold and wet, lots of ice and slush. Between Waterfall and Hotland it’s hot _and_ humid, lots of moss and lichen and all. Probably the place with the most plant growth in the Underground. And between Hotland and New Home it’s hot and dry but kind enough that those of us _not_ made of scales or fire can live there.”

“I never would have imagined it was possible to control the weather, even in an enclosed space.” I commented. “Are you going to try something similar here?”

“We have to, if we must stay in this area.” Asgore frowned. “It has been a long time since our people have walked the Earth, and it may be a long time before we can spread out as we once did. In the meantime, if this area is to be the new Monster Capital, we must make sure it is inhabitable by all monsters.”

“Which is gonna be tricky if this wild weather is gonna try to interfere with our manufactured weather.” Grarrl massaged his temples.

“Hmm, perhaps I should ask Alphys about that.” Asgore tugged on his beard. “The weather machines are before her time, of course, but perhaps she can surmise how much of a problem this will be and be able to help.”

“Has she found any candidates for her science team?” I asked him.

“She’s doing that today I believe. She’s in her room going over…whatever is required for such things.” His eyes drifted towards the ceiling.

“I could get her, if you’d like.” I offered.

“Would you, Ms. ________? You needn’t bother yourself if you do not wish to.” He assured me.

“It would be no trouble at all.” I smiled kindly. “I’ll be back in a moment with your Royal Scientist.”

“What do you _mean_ you have clean, renewable, _unlimited_ energy?” Diana’s indigenous squawk followed me upstairs. I went past the Queen’s room and stopped in the hallway. Three doors remained to be picked through. One for the king, one for the skeleton brothers, and one for Captain Undyne and Dr. Alphys, presumably. Which one had the Royal Scientist inside?

Taking a guess, I walked up to the middle door and knocked three times.

“Dr. Alphys, are you in there?” I called gently, remembering how nervous and anxious she always seemed. I knocked and called again, a little louder, and pressed my ear to the door. Nothing. I’d guessed wrong.

Leaving me with two more doors. Well, might as well check the far door first. I went up to it and knocked before calling out again.

“Y-Yes? Um, Ms. __________?” I guessed right!

“We’re having a bit of a discussion about the, ah, _weather machines_ you have underground. Would you please come join us?” There was some shuffling sounds, as if Dr. Alphys was getting up and moving things aside, when suddenly there was a loud _crash_ and a yelp.

“Dr. Alphys, are you alright?” I opened the door, searching for the yellow lizard lady. I saw the problem right away. She must’ve been using her laptop on the bed and got tangled up in the charger cord when she got up. She’d grabbed a mannequin with a suit of armor on it and it had toppled over on top of her.

“Oh dear, let me help.” I bent at the knees and levered the mannequin up. Several pieces clattered off and I left them where they fell.

“I-I’m _fine!_ I’m fine!” She tried to reassure me. “O-Oh gosh, I’m such a k-klutz.” Her eyes locked on to the helmet on the floor.

“Oh no, oh no, oh nonononooo! T-Tell me I d-didn’t _b-break_ it?” She wheezed.

“It’s not broken, dear, just look.” I knelt down beside her. “See, it attaches to the mannequin like so. And not even a dent to show for it. Just breathe, dear.” She shivered and tried to breathe. I kept a reassuring babble going as I began to return the pieces to their proper place. When she realized what I was doing she scrambled to her feet to help and soon we had the mannequin back where it belonged, closer to the wall so no one getting up from bed would knock it over again.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Dr. Alphys?” I looked her up and down. I might not be able to use a Check to see injuries or illness, but I hoped I’d be able to recognize pain on a reptilian face.

“Y-Yes, I-I’m fine.” She fidgeted with her hands.

“That’s a relief.” I sighed. While she attempted to regain her composure I took a look around and finally connected some dots.

Dr. Alphys and Captain Undyne were dating.

It all made sense. Captain Undyne had mentioned a girlfriend, I just hadn’t thought she was talking about _Dr. Alphys._ Here they were though, in a room together, sharing a bed. It was so terribly obvious now. Thankfully I hadn’t said anything to put my foot in my mouth just yet.

“U-Um, so, t-they’re talking a-about the weather machines?” She squeaked.

“Yes, dear,” I couldn’t resist being a little more familiar with her. “Are you aware that the surface has no control over the weather? And that the seasons hit _every_ part of the globe?”

“O-Oh, I’ve s-seen that in anime!” Her eyes lit up behind her glasses. “I thought, i-it made sense, you know? B-Because w-why invent weather machines i-if, uhm, you don’t n-need them?”

“Yes, well, it seems the Construction teams brought in today weren’t aware of that.” I smiled and led the way to the door. “King Asgore had to tell them my friend was telling the truth about weather.”

“Dr. Alphys, Ms. _______,” King Asgore smiled when we entered the kitchen. “I was beginning to grow worried for you.”

“Just a slight mishap with a mannequin, your Majesty. Nothing to be concerned over.” I accepted a cup of tea from him. Diana took it upon herself to give out the introductions this time, as well as explaining their current issue. Right now it seemed they had a tentative plan for a circular city, with cross sections for the different biomes they needed. The problem seemed to be they didn’t know what would happen at the new borders. Snowdin and Waterfall borders they knew, Snowdin and New Home borders? What would that do?

I could’ve easily sat and sipped my tea while listening to them debate, but I had a job to do. Besides, I’m sure Diana would tell me all about it later if I asked. I did still need to talk to Asgore though.

“Your Majesty, about our talk?” I cleared my throat quietly, not wanting to disturb the four people at the table looking over maps.

“Oh, of course, my apologies for getting distracted, Ms. ________.” He flushed. We took our tea and retreated to the study so we wouldn’t be disturbed.

“What was it you wanted to speak to me about?” He sat down in a chair that was just a touch too small for him. I couldn’t imagine it was very comfortable.

“We have a basic outline of Monster Kind’s needs now, but we really do need to discuss the long-term plans.” And for an ageless man like Asgore that was long-term indeed.

“First, some clarifying questions. I apologize if they seem unrelated or ignorant, please keep in mind that almost all knowledge of monsters and magic was wiped out after you were sealed.” I sighed, thinking bitterly of libraries of yore. I pulled out a fresh notebook and my own maps.

“Firstly, where was the old Monster Kingdom located, generally?” I knew that after a thousand years the maps wouldn’t look the same. Certainly not as accurate. I’d gotten one without borders though so hopefully he’d recognize their old lands.

He took the purple highlighter from my hand and began marking out an area that covered Italy, Germany, Spain, Austria, and parts of Greece. It hadn’t just been a kingdom. Asgore was marking out an _empire._

Something inside me, maybe my soul, crinkled like a wadded up piece of paper. The population such a territory would require, even if there were humans living within that border, boggled my mind. Even taking into consideration that some monsters would have lived all around the world, in various biomes more suited to them, it was horrific.

And today the monster population barely made it past ten thousand.

His expression when he set the highlighter down was heartbreaking. He was _king_ when his people were driven from their homes and marched north. At the tip of England, they’d had nowhere else to run, so mankind had sealed them under a mountain and _forgot_ them.

The more I learned the more the Underground sounded like a concentration camp. Centuries before the first ones were ever conceived. It made me wonder where they’d gotten the idea.

Genocide. I was looking at _genocide_ and…

I am not losing my shit over this. I am a professional. I’ll seethe on my own time.

“I see,” I brushed a hand through my hair and straightened my spine. “Well, today that area is divided up between several countries.” I pulled out more maps, this time with labels and borders.

“Now, part of what the Government is so concerned about is a kingdom has literally crawled out from under a rock and their old territory has been taken over by humans. We’re unlikely to get you your old land back,” Even if part of me really wanted to try to sue the world, just to see what would happen.

_“In the case of _______ Vs. The World we find the defendant guilty on all counts.”_

“With your current numbers, we need to consider what your people need long-term? Do we try to reestablish the Monster Kingdom within England? That’s not going to be a popular move, especially for integration purposes. However, it might not be wise to abolish the monarchy either. Your people need strong representation to the world.” I considered this for a moment before continuing.

“Short-term, we can build you a city on the surface, get humans and monsters used to co-existing again, but sooner or later people in the Government are going to start making a fuss about non-nationals taking up their land.” I tried very hard not to frown when several key members popped into mind. I’d faced off with them in the courtroom on several occasions, and won much more than I lost, but the war was far from over.

“Non-nationals?” Asgore’s ears twitched when he was confused about something. It was adorable.

“Non-citizens, people not born within the bounds of a nation’s law.” In the most technical manner speaking.

“…Most of my people _were_ born in the Underground, they are not all as old as I.” He pointed out, still confused.

“Within the bounds of a nation’s law, as in being presented with a birth certificate shortly after being born, stating their name, the names of their parents, and country of origin.” I clarified.

“We do not have birth certificates.” He sighed. “Humans have certainly developed lots of ways to Check people without the ability.”

“We take such crimes as Identity Theft very seriously.” I gravely informed him, even though I had cause to doubt that such was ever going to be a problem for monsters.

“What is identity theft? You mentioned it yesterday as well.” He asked.

“Identity Theft, plainly speaking, is when a person claims another’s name and uses it for ill purposes. Such as buying things the victim will then be forced to pay for.” I explained. It took a few more examples for him to be comfortable in his understanding of the idea.

“We need to figure out a balancing act.” I sighed, looking over the papers that had scattered themselves over the desk. “Keeping the monsters as their own governing body, while paying enough lip service to the Government to be considered citizens and be afforded all the rights and protections that human citizens enjoy.” I had almost thirty sheets dedicated to British Citizenship.

“Are you… _sure_ we do not need to wait for Toriel?” He eyed the stack with open nervousness.

“We’re not making real plans, just strategizing.” I reassured him. “Things we _might_ be able to do. I assure you I’ll be discussing this with her Majesty as well.”

“Forgive me if I seem ignorant or rude, but your role in the monarchy is to present the face of the government for your people, correct?” I smiled, reassuring #9. “Queen Toriel handles the politics?”

“Yes, that is…That’s how things used to be before…” He stopped himself.

“You needn’t continue on personal matters, your Majesty.” I spoke softly. For all that he was eight feet tall with foot long horns it was shockingly easy to see a harmless lamb when you looked at him.

Lamb…goat…No, I’m better than this. That wasn’t even a proper pun!

We continued talking, working through the pot of tea until Papyrus poked his head inside and said dinner was ready. For all Asgore claimed Toriel handled the politics he was plenty knowledgeable himself. We weren’t fully satisfied with our work yet, so we told him we’d be out in a few more minutes.

A few more minutes _might_ have been a little longer than we thought.

“If even basic _communication_ is going to be difficult we’re going to need a work around for these Moldsmal folk and others like them.” I rubbed tiredly at my temples. “They truly communicate through _wriggling?_ ”

“To the untrained eye, yes. To a monster in tune with their soul? It is very clear what they are saying.” He frowned and considered this for a moment. “Perhaps I should summon one and see if you are able to understand them? I can’t recall right now if Frisk has spoken with one but perhaps I could ask them.”

“So monsters don’t _need_ to vocalize at all?” I blinked in wonder.

“Our physical bodies vary greatly. In fact, I recall an old philosopher of your kind once saying to me that he was amazed I could speak the human tongue, given our mouths are shaped so differently.” I hadn’t considered that before, and now I found myself comparing the shapes of our skulls. “I explained that it was our souls that were really speaking, as all else is merely dust and illusion. Some souls do have unique, ah, I believe _accents_ is the word?”

“I’m going to have to meet a moldsmal.” If they were mostly jelly and tentacles then I suppose they must look like jellyfish. Could a jellyfish learn sign language? Could a jellyfish even hold a _pencil?_

“Asgore, _______, dinner was called ten minutes ago.” Toriel stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. “Wash up and come to the dinner table. Your work will still be here when it’s done.”

“Oh, yes, Tori—Toriel!” He coughed, blush slightly visible through the fur.

“I think we’re at a good stopping point for the day.” I quickly organized my papers and maps. I had so much to think about now. So much to reconsider about my approach.

I’m going to have to get Corbin on board much sooner than I thought. Hopefully the gold will entice him.

But first, a meal.


	5. Building Defenses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO! I AM STOKED! I got a new job, you guuuuuuuyyyyysss!!! NEW JOB! Guess who is once more gainfully employed! That's right, THIS GIRL! I got the news ten minutes ago! I am pumped! Today is a good day! I need to blow off some energy, and I do that best by writing, so I'm gonna go work on the next chapter for this RIGHT NOW! Enjoy everybody!

The worst thing about getting a hold of Corbin was working through his secretary. The woman barely had enough brain cells to walk and chew gum at the same time, I couldn’t believe he trusted her with important case files. I knew, intellectually, that she was perfectly qualified for her job and a sweet person besides, but instinctively? She made me seriously debate walking to his firm so I could talk to him in person instead of going through her. So far the best argument my mind had come up with against that plan was that I’d also have to deal with _her_ in person and I’d so far managed to avoid that unfortunate event.

“Corbin, did you really need to leave me on the line with her for ten minutes?” Was the first thing out of my mouth after he confirmed the line had switched.

“It was funny.” He defended himself with far less skill and eloquence than he demonstrated in the courtroom. “I like to listen in as you get more and more frustrated with all the small talk. Rebecca is a perfectly nice woman, you know.”

“Yes, she is.” I agreed. And she really was. This was a woman who fostered troubled kids and had a pretty good track record of making them a touch less troubled. She volunteered at places. She worked part time at a day-care. I suspected she and Papyrus might be distantly related, but somehow Papyrus didn’t make me want to slam my head against a wall with the sound of his voice.

“You never call during work hours unless it’s _for_ work and I have often bowed to your superior knowledge and connections in my area of expertise,” Corbin moved rather jarringly back to business. “Now what on Earth could the famous _______, Lawyer for Monsters, want from me?”

“I’m building a law team.” I explained, reclining back in my office chair. Inkdrop purred in my lap, amusing himself by licking my fingers. “For the Monsters. Diana’s already on board. They pay in gold.”

“How _much_ gold?” He questioned me.

“They have gold coins,” I had one sitting on my desk right now. It had the monarch’s symbol, the Delta Rune, stamped on one side and 20G stamped on the other. It was worth about 1,200 £. That was about a day and a half of work.

I’d been paid six months in advance.

“Each one is worth about 1,200 £.” I informed him. “They pay six months in advance for a standard schedule.”

“You had me at _‘gold coins.’_ Where do I sign?” He interrupted me.

“I’ve got some NDAs and a standard contract for you to sign. I’m meeting a monster lawyer at eleven thirty tomorrow, why don’t you swing by my office around eight thirty? That sound good to you?”

“I’ll bring coffee. Should I clear the day to accompany you to Mt. Ebott?” He asked. I could hear the sound of his chair rolling back and forth.

“If you have any pre-existing obligations, I highly suggest you take care of those first. This job is going to be rather intensive.” I warned him.

“They could make me run a mile uphill both ways if they wanted to. They’re paying in _gold._ ” I chuckled at his enthusiasm. Corbin had become a lawyer for the money and he was damn good at his job. In another year or two he’d outstrip me in yearly salary.

“It figures Diana is already on the team, the Government’s been pretty hush-hush about the monster accommodations. Who else are you thinking for the team?” I looked over at my corkboard.

There were three pictures staring back at me. All people I knew, people I respected, people with areas of expertise that matched or complimented my own. Any of them would be valuable additions.

But I only _knew_ these people, I didn’t _trust_ them. Diana would bend herself into a pretzel if she thought it would help someone. Corbin was overly fond of material wealth but it all went to his growing family and college funds. I trusted them to, above all else, do the Right Thing  TM.

“I have one or two more candidates but we’ll see how things go.” I hummed thoughtfully. “Tell your family I said hello, won’t you?”

“Of course. You should come over sometime. Suzie is just starting to walk without holding onto the sofa.” He tempted me.

“We’ll make plans for dinner tomorrow. I’ll see you in the morning, Corbin.” I smiled, picturing his dark-haired daughter toddling across the room.

Well, I went to bed at a much more reasonable hour that night, enough so I only needed two cups of coffee to remember I had to actually go to my office today. I forced myself into a shower and pantsuit and rubbed Inkdrop for good luck.

O’Brian’s Law Firm was not a simple building, though it held humble beginnings. This branch wasn’t the biggest, the London branch held that distinction, but it was no mystery that it was regarded higher. This reputation came as a result of my own hard work and dedication. There was a picture frame with my likeness in the front lobby declaring me the Ace Attorney of the Year. The previous four years held the same picture.

“Ms. ___________.” At the smoky silk voice every muscle on my body tensed. The only other sound that could induce that sort of reaction from me was a smug tone from a rival in the courtroom. I knew who it was in the same way Man’s Ancestors knew to duck when thunder started rolling across the plains.

Through tired, tragic experience.

“Mr. Garlem,” I turned to him with smile #12, the Glacier. It definitely deserved the name. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“There are some men who would like a moment of your time. We weren’t sure when you’d be in next but I’ll call and tell them you’ve arrived.” His voice reminded me of fog. Dense and utterly miserable to wade through.

“Ah, please warn them that I will be attending a meeting with a colleague in fifteen minutes then.” Garlem was _not_ a lawyer. He was a legacy hire, the great-grandson of Finnian O’Brian who’d founded the firm. His job was to pester the lawyers in service to the firm into exemplary good behavior. And victory. I think he took it as a personal failing that I never needed such pestering.

Or it could be that he could just tell his very voice triggered deeply repressed fight or flight instincts in me. That’s why I froze. Because so long as I was frozen, I wasn’t trying to either slap or run away from him. It’s a mystery as to which way I’d jump when my self-control finally snapped. There were days when both options sounded equally satisfying. I hated the way he scared off interns.

I sat in my office, a lonely and impersonal space. I left nothing here that I cared about and I had no secretary to do things for me. This left my door unguarded to anyone who decided to waste my time.

A knock sounded at the door.

“______? It’s me.” Ah, hopefully Corbin remembered his promise of coffee.

He did remember.

“Just read through those and tell me what you think.” I sipped at the fine latte he’d brought me. I checked my phone for emails and messages while he went through everything.

Hmm, another email from Courtney. Sweet dear who was very grateful that I’d gotten that Bad Man to stop following her Mama around. Attached was a picture of their beagle named Pancake, eating a pancake.

I sent her a reply praising her doggy and reminding her to dress warmly because there was a cold front coming through. I also told her I’d be happy to see more pictures of her doggy and to tell her Mama I was doing fine and yes, I did think Pancake and Inkdrop would be good friends.

“I don’t see anything objectionable here.” Corbin’s voice startled me into hitting send before I could go over it a second time. I reminded myself firmly that Courtney was eight and wouldn’t care if there was a typo or two.

There was a knock on the door as Corbin signed the papers. Rolling my eyes and sighing, I called for them to come in.

Two well-dressed chaps strut their way inside, closing the door behind them and promptly staring at the back of Corbin’s head. After a moment the larger of the two coughed very obviously. Corbin, dear that he was, ignored them so he could continue signing all the appropriate places.

“Sir, if you could step outside while we speak to Ms. _______, we’d be most appreciative.” The older gentleman spoke wearily, giving his companion the stink eye.

“Gentlemen, Mr. Corbin is a teammate signing some very important documents at the moment. Documents which I _cannot_ allow him to take out of the room until all relevant parts have been agreed to.” I leaned forward, crossing my arms over the desk. “Please, take a seat and I’ll be right with you.”

The older gentleman, I recognized. George Willsborough, he was from the legislative branch, specifically the House of Lords. Old family, large bank account, personality of a potato.

The younger gentleman, now he was a mystery to me, and not a particularly engaging one. His eyes attempted to drill holes in the back of Corbin’s head. I could _see_ Corbin moving his pen slower, adding more flourishes to his signature, a small smirk sneaking across his face as he sensed the stranger’s impatience coming to a boil.

Neither attempted to make small talk. Corbin calmly filled out all the forms, I ran them through the copier in the room and gave one to him. The other three stayed with me, along with the original. Finally, I turned to my guests.

“So sorry to keep you waiting, gents. Now, is there anything I can help you with?” I smiled #6 at them, utterly _meaningless._

“If we could speak to you _privately_ , Ms. __________?” Mr. Willsborough cleared his throat in a pointed manner.

“Of course.” I turned to my associate. “Forgive me, Corbin, we may have to delay our drive to Mt. Ebott. Would you be averse to waiting outside for me?”

“Not at all, take your time.” He smiled back, utterly lacking in warmth or sincerity. He picked up his briefcase and nodded politely to both men as he left the room.

“Ms. ________, what can you tell us about the monsters?” Mr. Willsborough sat down in Corbin’s vacated chair.

“Sweet folk, softest fur I’ve ever touched, and one of them doesn’t seem to understand how indoor voices work.” I answered.

“Miss, please,” He sighed. “I am Lord George Willsborough of the House of Lords, this is my associate, John Lennings, we need anything you can tell us about the Monster Monarchy.”

“Ah, the king and queen.” I thought on this for a moment. “Goat-like in appearance, one has blond hair and a beard, curiously enough. Around eight feet tall.”

“Get serious, woman. You know why we’re here.” Mr. Lennings groaned, openly rolling his eyes at me.

“Indeed I do.” I confirmed with unabashed glee. “And I think it’s simply _wonderful_ that people in the Government are ever so excited to learn about our new neighbors. It will all make integration that much easier.”

“ _Oh!_ ” I gasped in delight. “I forgot to mention, her Majesty, Queen Toriel? Is a _lovely_ chef. You simply _must_ try one of her cinnamon-butterscotch pies one of these days!”

“May we see the contract you’re under, Ms. ________?” Mr. Willsborough asked, holding out his hand for the esteemed document.

“Contract? Oh, you mean for my employment? I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I cannot do that at this time.” Because no such document exists. I didn’t think the monsters knew such were needed. I was going to have to draft my own. That would be an interesting experience, drafting my own NDA.

“Ms. _________, it is a matter of _national security_ that we find out as much as we can about these monsters and, unfortunately, the only humans who have had any prolonged contact with them is the child ambassador and yourself.” He gestured with his hands while he talked.

“I see. Then please, be specific.” I pulled out a tape recorder from the drawer. There was a second one inside that I turned on too. “I’m recording this for posterity. What do you want to know about monsters, exactly?”

“Ms. ________, we’d prefer if this remained off the record.” Mr. Willsborough frowned at me.

“Ah, but that would be rather irresponsible of me. We are, after all, discussing a case.” I reminded them. “Think of it as a compromise.”

“Very well,” He sighed with regret. “What can you tell us about magic. Everything you know, if you would.”

“It hasn’t come up much in discussion, but I can tell you that I have not seen any military applications of it as yet.” I folded my arms over my desk. “Identification, communication, and quality of life are the areas that have featured in the course of my work thus far.”

“Let’s start with communication.” He suggested, his younger counterpart zeroed in on me, as if he was attempting to rip the truth from my mind through force of will alone.

“You might have noticed that the King and Queen are _goats_?” I raised a skeptical brow at him. “And are fully capable of enunciation and eloquence that escapes a majority of the human race? How did you think they were bending their mouths around such sounds?”

“I admit, the thought had not crossed my mind.” He said mildly. “Please, continue.”

He was waiting for me to say something he could _use._ The man might have studied law at some point, but he’d never be a lawyer with a flimsy technique like that.

“Well, as most monsters do not share human shape or, if they do, don’t share the prerequisite organs such as tongues or voice boxes, their magic is used to communicate with each other. Monsters seem to instinctively understand anything a monster says, whether or not they have a mouth to say it _with._ ” I explained. “This also works on humans, as the young ambassador does not speak. None of them have ever made a study of sign language, but all understand it instinctively.”

“That’s very interesting.” He didn’t look particularly interested. His companion’s eyes had glazed over already.

“It is, isn’t it?” I pretended I hadn’t seen it. “How much time and effort it must save when one of their own is born disadvantaged. Imagine what a valuable skillset it could be too. Not just for interpreters, but for all sorts of things I’m sure.” Things this man would spend his waking hours thinking of, now that I’d placed the idea in his head.

Get them thinking of how _useful_ monsters could be and just watch all your troubles melt away.

“I’d love to continue this chat, my lord, I truly would.” I lied. “But I do have to meet their Majesties soon and it _is_ a rather long drive to Mt. Ebott.”

“The Prime Minister would like to meet with you next Monday.” Mr. Willsborough informed me, standing up. “Would you be available at eleven? Refreshments will be provided, of course.”

“How delightful. I’ll look forward to it.” It would be my first time meeting the Prime Minister in person. He wasn’t the man I’d voted for but wasn’t too bad all around. Mostly he seemed rather bland and there was nothing wrong with a good, stable leader with predictable views. It would make for an interesting rendezvous at the very least.

“_______? Are you ready to go?” Corbin was waiting patiently outside.

“Yes, let’s. It’s a long drive and I don’t want to be late.”

We were not late but only because I broke a few traffic safety laws to get there on time. On time was basically late in my books so I still wasn’t happy with it. Papyrus wasn’t the one to greet me at the door this time, sadly. Instead it was his brother, the Royal Judge.

“Mr. Sans, a pleasure to see you.” I greeted him cheerfully.

“no need to call me mister, seriously.” He let us in. “who’s your friend?”

“This Corbin Lesuis, he’s agreed to join my team.” I explained. “Are their Majesties in?”

“just the queen today. asgore got called away to deal with something in the underground.” He shrugged. He didn’t offer up any information about what the king got called away for. “that lawyer fella, tristroot, is here.”

Darn, I really was late.

“Is he in the study?” I barely received a nod before I began making my way to the hallway. I knocked on the door and waited for the call to enter.

“Come in!” Her Majesty called.

“Your Majesty,” I greeted her as we stepped inside. There was a…well, an _ent._ A tree with arms, legs, and a face. A kindly face, like someone had pressed my grandfather’s face into Birchwood. “You must be Mr. Tristroot, a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Ms. ________” He smiled, which was interesting to watch in bark. “And your companion?”

“Corbin Lesuis, sir.” Corbin stepped forward, nodding formally. “I just recently joined Ms. ______’s legal team.”

“Ah, an honor to meet my human counterparts.” He moved slowly. Was it difficult to move when you were made of wood?

“Please, both of you, have a seat.” Her Majesty directed us to a few chairs. “I was just speaking to Lord Tristroot about the treaty signing next month.”

“heh, don’t you mean _tree_ ty signing, tori?” Mr. Sans snickered. I bit my lip to keep from smiling, side eyeing Mr. Tristroot to see if he was offended.

“Oh my, could you be _leaf_ I’d make such a mistake, Sans?” Her Majesty laughed, clapping her hands in honest delight.

My clients were punning to each other.

“Well, I’m just a modest sen _tree_ , who am I to go correcting the Queen?” My clients were _punning_ to each other.

I mean, I liked the odd bit of clever word play as much anyone, but this was positively surreal!

“Oh Sans, I must _axe_ you to stop. You wouldn’t want to be accused of _tree_ son, now would you?” I looked at Corbin to see if he was just as bemused as I was. He didn’t look half as entertained, but Mr. Tristroot seemed to be enjoying himself.

“I _wood_ have to ask for your mercy then, tori. i  _saw_ what happened to the last guy who crossed _yew._ ” The Queen was almost falling over herself in laughter by this point.

Well, on Monday when the Prime Minister inevitably asked me what the monarchy’s weakness was I now had something both honest and worthless to offer him. The queen had absolutely no defense against puns.

“I must admit I’m _stumped_ by this turn of events. But then, I’ve never been good at getting to the _root_ of the problem.” We all turned shocked eyes to Mr. Tristroot, who looked quite proud of himself for his ambush.

“Oh dear, I suppose we got a bit carried away there.” Queen Toriel fanned her face for a moment while she caught her breath. “There is still so much work to be done.”

“Indeed,” I was back in familiar territory. I schooled my expression and faced Mr. Tristroot. “Forgive me for seeming rude, but might I inquire as to your area of expertise, Mr. Tristroot?”

“I have studied Encounter Law, Military Law, Criminal Law, and Labor Law.” I hummed appreciatively as he pulled out his resume. According to these dates he’d been in practice for three hundred years. And while those four might be his areas of expertise he’d had ample time to broaden his studies over the years. A monster after my own heart.

“What is Encounter Law, if you don’t mind my asking?” I itched at the question, and was glad it was Corbin who asked.

“An Encounter refers to a magical duel.” He explained. “Such things are supposed to be discussed and arranged beforehand, but you understand there will always be those who would rather throw a punch than settle their grievances peacefully.”

“I see,” I prevented any further questions along that line for now. “Mr. Tristroot, would you be interested in joining my legal team? If I am to represent Monster Kind, I think it is only fair to have _monsters_ on my team, and you come so highly recommended.”

“Not to mention it provides an opportunity for both sides to learn something of the other’s laws.” His eyes twinkled with mischief.

“My dear I would be _delighted_ to join your team.” His tone turned a bit wistful as he gestured towards the window. “Anything I can do to help my people stay safe on the Surface.”

I remembered that plant monsters were nearing extinction. Looking carefully, I saw that he was sitting directly in a patch of sunlight.

“Then I have some papers for you to sign.” I pulled out copies of the contracts I’d given Corbin this morning. “This one to have you instated as a member of the team, and these two as NDAs.”

“NDA? What does that mean, Ms. _______?” He accepted the papers.

“Non-Disclosure Agreements. Basically an agreement to not speak of anything pertaining to the case or personal lives of the clients. While I am sure you are a trustworthy sort, I’m afraid certain members of the court that I have had the displeasure of facing are _not._ And the press is, of course, terribly ruthless.” Even worse than other lawyers in some respects. At least my opponents tried to best me with _facts._

“An NDA assures that they cannot threaten you with anything to make you reveal anything potentially harmful.” I wonder if he just knows it by another name or if monsters legitimately never needed NDAs. Was there perhaps some magical alternative? A magic oath maybe?

Heh…magic _oak._ Oh great, now I’m making tree puns.

“If you sign everything, then I have with me two copies of the United Kingdoms Book of Law. I’m sure my associate, Mr. Lesuis, would be more than happy to go over it with you. Perhaps you could both take notes on what matters the two societies differ on?” I looked between them.

“_______, you’re carrying _two_ copies of that text?” Corbin frowned at my heavy-duty briefcase.

“You’ve known me for quite a few years now, Corbin. I’m not sure why you’re surprised.” I opened it to show them the books. “You are free to keep a copy if you wish, Mr. Tristroot.”

“My dear, I’d be honored.” He spoke with utmost sincerity. “May I?”

“Of course,” I passed him a copy, then gave the other to Corbin. If I didn’t know any better I’d say Mr. Tristroot had _skimmed_ the contracts before signing.

“welp, i guess if you’re gonna be gettin’ down to work i’ll just head upstairs for a nap.” Mr. Sans yawned.

“A moment, Mr. Sans,” I called to him. “I’d like to ask you a few questions about your position? The Royal Judge?” Always good to have a judge in your corner. Even a monster one.

“Does the current human monarch not maintain the position?” Toriel asked with wide eyes.

“Not in this day and age. And even if we did, I suspect the Monster Judge would differ slightly.” After a moment Mr. Sans sighed and reluctantly took a seat. Mr. Tristroot and Corbin left to begin their discussion in another room. Hopefully either the living room or kitchen, so Mr. Tristroot could sit by a large window.

“whattaya wanna know?” Mr. Sans lounged back in his chair.

“Perhaps you could give me an overview of your duties and qualifications? Just so I might have a basic understanding?” I tried not to seem too eager.

“heh, well,” He somehow made himself more comfortable. “as the name implies, i’m the judge king asgore calls when a law requiring his attention is broken. stuff like high treason, serial murder, child abuse.”

“Child abuse is rated highly enough for the King to involve himself?” I was a bit surprised.

“Children are very precious to us.” Queen Toriel closed her eyes in pain. “Especially as our birth rate declined.”

I was no longer excited, but I forged on regardless. I had so much to learn if I was going to help these people.


	6. Signing a Contract

The Royal Judge was everything I thought a judge would be, if said judge had been plucked from the medieval period. While monsters were no strangers to a Trial by Jury, they considered _some_ crimes to require a sterner touch. One voice handing down judgement.

But it wasn’t the _king’s_ voice.

The Check magic, at least for a select few, didn’t just display names, age, and health. It could also display _guilt._

They called it Level of Violence, or LV for short. The more violent crimes one committed, the higher it rose. Secondary to that was Execution Points, or EXP, which could only be raised through assault or murder.

While all monsters could perform a Check, not all monsters could see LV or EXP. That was an ability that only appeared once or twice per generation. A monster who had such an ability was eligible to be a Royal Judge.

This ability didn’t just show up in monsters though, sometimes it appeared in humans.

“But humans don’t have magic.” I protested.

“Because we were sealed.” Toriel nodded gravely. “Monsters produce magic as a matter of fact, and humans can absorb it simply by being near it. Once Monster Kind was forced underground, the magic on the surface began to run out. However, due to so many monsters being trapped in a relatively small area, the Underground is extraordinarily rich in raw magic.”

“That is why my child, Frisk, became a mage almost as soon as they had fallen.” I took a moment to process that.

“Frisk is a mage? May I ask what powers they possess?” I needed to draft that contract _tonight._ I needed the extra shielding before my meeting with the Prime Minister next week.

“An ability they refer to as Save and Load.” Toriel explained.

“kid named it after a videogame thing.” Sans chuckled, looking a bit nervous. “they can make a save point and, when they use load, can go back to it at any time.”

“Teleportation?” My, that would be a useful ability. Though it didn’t really sound like a…video…game. “Or…can Frisk alter the flow of _time?_ ”

“It would appear so.” Toriel nodded gravely.

“they can only go back to the last save point they made.” Sans informed me. “once they make a new save point it erases the old one.”

“Oh,” I could think of a few times in my life where such an ability might have been useful. “Well, I certainly don’t remember any jumps in time. Can monsters remember such?”

“They cannot. My child used their knowledge in order to convince us.” Toriel smiled ruefully.

“mostly by saying stuff like ‘ _a helicopter is coming in ten minutes.’_ or _‘don’t eat that, papyrus accidentally put dish soap in it.’_ ” My lips twitched. How did Papyrus manage to mix up dish soap with an ingredient?

A knock at the door nearly spooked me out of my wits. A second later, Frisk and Flowey poked their head into the room.

“Frisk says ‘ _Has Ms. _______ told Mom about her meeting on Monday?_ ’” Flowey relayed.

“How do you…Oh, right. Time travel is a thing which exists now.” And must never, ever, _ever_ be made public.

“Frisk, as your lawyer, I _highly_ recommend you never tell another human about that ability unless they’ve signed a legally binding contract. One preferably written by me.” I slumped. Why was it that at every meeting I learned something that made my job harder? It was a welcome challenge, but these people didn’t deserve to have a _challenge._ They deserved to live peacefully under the Sun with everyone else.

“No _duh_.” Flowey blew a raspberry.

“What meeting is my child referring to, Ms. ________?” Toriel blinked curiously.

“I have been invited to a meeting with the Prime Minister on Monday, to discuss Monster Kind.” I explained.

“Oh, I see.” She looked troubled by this.

“Before that meeting, I will draft a business contract for us. That will give me a firm, legal reason for why I won’t be telling them anything more incriminating than your fondness for puns, your Majesty.” I smiled reassuringly.

“i don’t get it.” Sans frowned suspiciously. “why would’ya do something like that if it means you can’t tell your ruler what they wanna know?”

“For one, because I didn’t vote for him.” I shrugged, unconcerned. “For two, the _only_ reason the Government wants sensitive information is to make your lives harder. As it’s my job to make things _easier_ , you can see why I object to such.”

“If the Prime Minister wanted to know about monsters for the sake of integration or even just curiosity, I would tell him. But he only wants information he can _use_.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m afraid I’m not terribly patriotic. I despise bullies, no matter where they come from.”

And there was no more effective bully than a politician.

“How soon can you have such a contract written?” Toriel asked.

“I can have the first draft written by tomorrow morning.” I considered the late night ahead worth it. “I’ll bring it by tomorrow and we can discuss the terms in more detail. Meaning I’ll have it fully prepared the day after tomorrow, three days before my meeting with the head of state.”

“Hmm,” She nodded thoughtfully. “Dear, would you mind terribly giving me a more thorough description of your country’s government? I’m afraid we’ve only had the briefest of overviews upon our exodus.”

“I’d be delighted, your Majesty.”

“Please, call me Toriel.” She requested.

“welp, i guess i’ll _leaf_ you to it. c’mon, frisk, let’s go out for nice cream. i don’t think tori’s _botany._ ” Sans winked to the little ambassador.

“Oh my, you’d best take an umbrella, Sans. I fear there is a chance for _sprinkles._ ” I sighed and let them pun at each other for a few minutes before Sans, Frisk, and Flowey finally made their exit.

“O-Oh my,” Toriel fanned herself, still softly giggling at the last soft serve pun. “Do forgive me, Ms. ______, but I do so love a good joke.”

“Nothing wrong with a bit of wordplay, your Majesty.” I assured her.

“Really, dear, you must call me Toriel. You have done so much for us already, there is no need to stand on ceremony.” She waved an imperious finger at me.

“Then will you call me ______, Toriel?” I relented. I did like making friends with my clients.

After a thorough education on the United Kingdom’s government and policies, we decided to take a break for lunch. Mr. Tristroot and Corbin were at the kitchen table, and their combined papers had almost covered it completely.

“NGAAAH! We’re home! What’s for lunch?” I nearly jumped out of my skin as Undyne slammed the door open.

“Excellent timing, you two!” Toriel beamed at them. “I was thinking something simple for lunch. How does toasted sandwiches sound?”

“Hel—I mean, Heck Yeah!” Undyne’s eye swiveled around wildly. “Wait, is the little punk not here? Then I can curse all I want! Hell Yeah!”

“Just so long as you keep your mouth clean around children, Undyne.” Toriel warned her. “I’m sorry to disturb you two, but would you mind moving your work to the living room?”

“Not at all, your Majesty. Not at all.” Mr. Tristroot efficiently packed everything into his arms. “Come, Corbin, I still want to discuss article twenty one with you.”

“At least they’re having fun.” I murmured, watching them cover the coffee table with their paperwork and crack open the book again.

“U-Uhm, hi, Ms. ______.” Alphys greeted me in a shallow whisper.

“Good day, Dr. Alphys.” I smiled kindly to her. “How goes forming your own team?”

“U-Uh, w-well, not that great, a-actually.” She fiddled with her hands.

“We did interviews all _day_ today!” Undyne steamed. “They were a buncha weenies! And this one guy even had the nerve to try bossing Alphie around! NGAAAH, makes me so mad!”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” I frowned.

“AAAAaaarrggghh, and we’ve got more interviews after lunch!” She grumbled.

“T-There was one p-promising student!” Alphys smiled anxiously. “H-He was, _really_ p-passionate about c-coding. He wants to, uh, go to a _human_ university someday.”

“Does he?” I hadn’t considered anything that long-term yet. Best case scenario it wasn’t likely to happen for at least a year. “Getting monsters into human schools is likely some time away, but perhaps I could call a friend of mine. He’s a chemistry professor though, not a coding one.” What class would that be anyway? I’d have to look it up.

“The sandwiches are ready.” Toriel began handing them out. “And _______, is there any special legislation in regards to schools on the Surface? We’ll be needing a few with the city being built.”

“There’s both a national and a global standard for education.” I couldn’t remember such off the top of my head. Maybe if I finished the rough draft of the business contract early I could begin research on that. “I’ll have to make a few calls.”

“Work talk later, food now!” Undyne growled, stuffing half her sandwich past her razor sharp teeth.

“Whfffn asshhnn schuhn dif?” She asked around a grotesque mouthful of food.

“Captain Undyne, I _insist_ you not talk with your mouth full. It’s getting on the table.” I leaned back out of spitting range. Toriel backed me up with a pert sniff. Undyne rolled her eyes and swallowed.

“When’s construction gonna start? We got a lot of monsters still Underground.” She repeated.

“Diana’s arranging the human side of things right now. Hopefully she’ll be done with that in a day or two and the human and monster companies can begin drawing up plans.” I needed to check up on her. I hadn’t gotten more than the briefest texts from her in the last two days.

“Oh, t-that m-makes the i-interviews even more i-i-important!” Alphys began to fret. “W-We need t-to get those weather machines b-built!”

“Don’t worry, babe!” Undyne flexed her impressive muscles. “We’ll suplex those nerds into _submission!_ Only the best nerds for your team!”

Lunch continued in a similar fashion. Sans and Frisk returned in time for their own sandwiches, and Sans began throwing food puns at Toriel until she was nearly doubled over with laughter. I finished my portion and stood to put my plate in the sink.

“O-Oh, uhm, Ms. _______? M-Mettaton was j-just wondering, ah, w-when y-you can arrange his d-debut on human tv?” Alphys’ cheeks were dusted red and she stared down at her hands.

“Ah yes,” I’d been carrying around some papers for that since the first meeting. “Where is Mr. Mettaton, if you don’t mind my asking.”

“U-Underground, h-he has weekly shows and his own resort.” She laughed meekly.

“His own resort? My, that certainly sounds impressive.” It really made me want to visit the Underground someday.

I paused to think more about Mr. Mettaton. Monster Kind was very isolated at the moment. Nobody knew much so rumor and hearsay was running free across the board. Getting monsters out there, letting people _see_ them, was the only way integration would move forward. People needed to _know_ monsters.

The thought nagged at me as Corbin and I left that evening. After we parted ways, making plans for dinner next Friday, I went home and began drafting the contract proposal. In the interests of saving time I tried to make the first draft as perfect as I could manage.

That did leave me with some time to consider Mr. Mettaton though. I’d been neglecting him so far. It was hard to juggle nine clients at once. They each had their own needs to keep in mind.

I started looking for people with backgrounds in Media Management. Given the hour I wouldn’t be able to talk to any just yet, but I did want to know what I was looking for.

This was a bit beyond my scope as a lawyer. Usually we did our best to keep cases out of the public view. On the rare occasion that publicity was the best option, I could arrange a press conference or similar.

That wasn’t a bad idea actually. The monarchy had already been to a few of those and it would be a good way to introduce Mettaton. I’d need to make sure he stayed away from a few sensitive topics but the man— _robot_ —surely knew how to work a crowd by now? Did monsters have paparazzi?

The hour was late. I could’ve pulled up videos of the last few press conferences their Majesties had been on, but I needed to get _some_ sleep before tomorrow. I checked the draft again and carried Inkdrop to bed.

In the morning I moved a bit slower than usual. I needed to coordinate with my team more. Perhaps I should think about temporary lodgings closer to Mt. Ebott? This two hour drive twice a day was killing me. Even my morning coffee did little to pep me up.

“______, you early bird.” Diana answered her cellphone. “Missing me already?”

“We all are.” I smiled into my third cup. “How’s negotiations with the human companies going?”

“I’ve got one on board, but the other two refused to compromise.” She groaned. “I’ll keep looking, but I think the monsters would prefer if we start building _now._ ”

“I know Captain Undyne is getting impatient.” I offered. “When can they start work?”

“I’ve actually arranged for Bildarts, that’s the human company, to meet with the heads of New Home Construction and Waterfall Construction today.” I was delighted to hear it. “So, I’ll be in the area today, managing that meeting. With luck, we can begin planning out the city. Do you think I can get one of their Majesties in to discuss the layout?”

“Hmm, I’ll need them both to discuss a few things this morning. What time is your meeting?” I frowned, pulling up my daily schedule.

“It begins at 1pm. Not all of us can survive on coffee, ______.”

“I’ll have you know I’ve never been this well fed before.” I humphed. “I swear I can barely work two hours without one of them pushing a snack into my hands.”

“One of these days I’m going to have to check you for a battery pack.” She warned.

“Just do me the honor of checking in privacy.” I snorted, nearly spilling some precious coffee. “Hopefully I’ll be done with my discussion before then so I can get one of their Majesties over to you. I’ll text you later to let you know.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it. Is Corbin on board yet?” She asked.

“He is, and a monster lawyer, a tree-man named Tristroot.” He was in my contacts list under Treebeard. “I might add another monster member later on, but I’m satisfied with my team for the moment.”

“Will Corbin be in Mt. Ebott today?” I finished off my cup and poured myself a refill.

“No, he has some paperwork to finish up for a previous case. He’ll be there the day after though.” I looked around the room to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. Inkdrop was napping on top of my heavy-duty briefcase. I moved him aside and headed out the door.

“I’ve got to let you go, Diana. I’m on the road now.” We exchanged farewells. I fastened my seatbelt, checked all my mirrors, and grudgingly began another long drive.

“GREETINGS, LAWYER LADY!” Papyrus greeted me at the door, back from whatever excursion had called him away yesterday.

“Good day, Mr. Papyrus.” I beamed at him. “Who all is here at the moment?”

“THERE IS MYSELF, OF COURSE, AND MY LAZY BROTHER! THE KING AND QUEEN ARE BOTH HERE, THEY’RE IN THE KITCHEN. ALPHYS LEFT ALREADY BUT UNDYNE IS STILL HERE! FRISK AND FLOWEY ARE IN THE BACKYARD, PLAYING! METTATON IS STILL IN THE UNDERGROUND RIGHT NOW, BUT HE’LL BE HERE THIS AFTERNOON!” He reported proudly, giving me a salute.

“You’ve certainly got a talent for keeping track of everyone.” I applauded him.

“Papyrus, is _____ here?” Toriel called from the kitchen.

“INDEED, LADY TORIEL! THE LAWYER LADY JUST PULLED UP IN HER VERY NICE CAR!” He shot an admiring look at my Audi.

“Toriel, King Asgore, good morning.” I nodded warmly as I stepped into the kitchen.

“Would you like something to eat? We saved you a plate from breakfast.” Toriel offered.

“That would be lovely, thank you.” I sat down at the table. “You’re spoiling me with all these home cooked meals, Toriel.”

“We can’t expect you to work for us on an empty stomach, now can we?” She laughed as she set down my plate.

“Toriel told me what you discussed yesterday.” King Asgore began after I’d finished at least half my pancakes. “Were you able to finish this employee contract?”

“I have the draft for the two of you to look over.” I pulled out a copy for each of them. “Look it over now and we can discuss any terms you’re unsure about.”

“It is quite…wordy.” Asgore muttered. I could see him struggling with the three page document. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that most contracts of this sort are much longer. Getting to write my own precedents let me cut out a lot of the filler.

“Is all of this truly necessary? Why can’t you simply tell your ruler that you do not wish to speak of certain things?” He frowned.

“It won’t suffice, your Majesty.” I sighed, feeling my late hours catching up to me. “They’ll want to know _why_ I don’t wish to speak of them. If I can’t produce a suitable reason, they’ll make up their own. It’s what politicians _do._ ”

“That does not seem right.” He continued to frown. “What benefit do they gain from it?”

“Either A) they generate enough sensationalism and uproar to pressure us into giving answers, or B) they generate enough sensationalism and uproar to ensure they are reelected next year.” I tried to be realistic when it came to politicians.

“…Perhaps I have been spoiled by a thousand years Underground.” He muttered. “It has been some time since I have had to contend with the representatives of other nations. My people _know_ me, yours does not.”

“I see nothing objectionable on this document, and can’t think of anything I would wish to add.” Toriel finished.

These people were shaping up to be the best clients I’d ever had.

“King Asgore, are you free tomorrow at 1pm?” I asked after we signed the finalized contract. I now had more free time to begin my research in media management!

“I believe so, why do you ask?” He cocked his fuzzy head to the side.

“My associate, Diana, will be managing the first meeting between human and monster construction companies, and she’d like one of you in attendance.” I explained. “I believe they want your input into the layout of the city.”

“Ah, that’s part of a law I put into place eight hundred years ago, after a devastating cave-in occurred in Waterfall.” He frowned at the memory. “We had to be very careful whenever we tried to build something Underground, so any large scale building contracts had to come through me for approval.”

“I see,” I winced.

“What else did you have planned for today, ______?” Toriel smiled as she carefully put the original contract away.

“I have a bit more research to do. I heard Mr. Mettaton will be in this afternoon, so I’d like the chance to talk to him.” I considered my schedule now that I didn’t have to refine the contract. That was a large slot of time that just opened up.

We all looked up as a confident knock sounded on the door, followed by it being nearly kicked off its hinges by Undyne’s forced entry.

“Lawyer Human, yes! You’re here!” She grinned fiercely, showing far too many teeth.

“I’ve been here for some time. Did you need me for something?” I tried not to show any signs of fear. They might all be monsters, but Undyne was the only one that really screamed _‘predator’_ to my senses.

“Your Majs, I’m borrowing the lawyer human!” Without any hesitation or effort, she swung me over her shoulder like a cave-man and took off running.

“W-W-Wait!” I screamed, scrabbling for some sort of hold. Miraculously, I still had a grip on my briefcase.

Tragically, the briefcase was _open._

“PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!” I grabbed the only thing I could, the long ponytail flying in the breeze.

On the bright side, it worked to bring Undyne to a stop. On the downside, she almost dropped me on my head.

“Uh, oops.” I straightened up gingerly, nursing a bruise on my stomach. My hair and clothes were disheveled and all my papers were strewn throughout the building. I’d lost a shoe. Luckily we hadn’t made it outside yet.

“Captain,” I gave her my coldest glare. “In some circles, what you just did would count as _assault._ ”

“B-But,” She rallied quickly. “There’s something big going down, Alphie needs your help NOW!”

“Fine lot of help I’d be without my paperwork, looking like I’ve been dragged through a whirlwind.” I scolded her.

“LAWYER LADY, I AM SURE MY FRIEND DID NOT MEAN TO HARM YOU! ALLOW ME TO GATHER YOUR SCATTERED PAPERS SO YOU CAN RENDER AID TO DR. ALPHYS IMMEDIATELY!” Papyrus appeared, already bending over to start tidying up.

“NGAAH! I’m sorry! But Alphie just texted me that there’s a guy who interrupted the interviews! The same guy who tried ordering her around yesterday! And he’s making a lot of noise saying she HAS to hire him! If we don’t hurry it’s gonna turn into an Encounter and Alphie’s no good at those!” Undyne spat out in a rush, looking honestly scared.

“Where is she?” I’d make it _very_ clear to Undyne why throwing someone over her shoulder was a terrible course of action later.

“Grr, all the way at that big trailer the humans left us to provide power!” I wasn’t familiar with it.

“Text the doctor, tell her to stall him as well as she can but if things turn violent tell her to get out of there.” I ordered. “Papyrus, just stack those on the kitchen table, I’ll be back for them later. I won’t need them just yet.”

“Captain, follow me. We’re driving, _not_ carrying me over your shoulder.” I snagged my keys out of my pocket and led the way to my Audi.

Two minutes later, grateful that no speed limits had been set yet, we pulled up before the trailer Undyne told me about. There was a massive generator, providing power to the shanty town. I winced at the sound my car made when Undyne slammed her door. I’d check it for damage later.

“ _What_ is going on here!” I stormed into the room. Five monsters inside, including Alphys. All wore lab coats. The monster doing most of the yelling and hand waving was a…a humanoid body with a floating planet-head? It looked like Saturn, except it was green.

“Who are you?” He…I’m pretty sure he looked at me, but when Undyne entered behind me he took a step back, clearly frightened.

“Pardon me, I’m ________, legal representative of All Monster Kind. I understand you’ve been harassing one of my clients.” I smiled my worst smile at him.

“What a poor life decision.” I looked over the other four occupants. Alphys was in tears, poor thing, clutching her phone like it was a lifeline. The other three were standing either near or behind her, a crane-like fellow, a lizard man, and a bespectacled cat.

“Has he hurt any of you?” I asked.

“N-N-N-Nn…” Alphys shook so hard she couldn’t speak, but did manage to shake her head.

“Sir,” I spat the word like venom off my tongue. “One of two things is going to happen now. Either A) you and I are going to have a _riveting_ discussion about all the ways I can _ruin the rest of your life_. Or B) you and _Captain Undyne_ can step outside and you can explain to her why you were verbally assaulting her girlfriend.”

“There’s…no need for that.” He spoke haltingly. “I was simply stating my case to the Royal Scientist. She’s been ordered to form a team and my qualifications—”

“Ah, option C), Undyne and I are _both_ going to express our displeasure.” I interrupted him. “Make things easy on yourself and step outside. The longer you dawdle, the longer my list of charges against you grows.”

There was nothing like Legal Consequences to make a man, or monster, think twice about their life choices.

“Well, _that_ was tedious.” I scoffed as we finally sent the planet monster packing. I’d missed his name, but I’d get it out of Undyne later. Arrogant, pretentious assholes like him sometimes needed remedial lessons.

“HA! You’re alright, ________.” Undyne clapped me on the back hard enough to stagger me.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook, _Captain._ ” I scowled at her. “Throwing someone over your shoulder, unless it’s to save theirs or someone else’s life, is _not_ acceptable.”

“Hehehehee,” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry, guess I got a little carried away.”

“I’ll forgive it this _once._ Now go in there and comfort your girlfriend.” I thumbed back at the trailer.

Once she was gone, I checked my car door. The door stuck so it was hard to open again.

I made a mental note to have a chat with her about private property laws.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo, first week of my new job is over. I slept through most of today since this is my first day off. I've got tomorrow off too. Didn't get much writing done this week, hmm...Might need to tweak the schedule. Maybe I'll update on Sundays instead? I'll let everyone know next week on Saturday. By then I should have a better grasp on my new schedule. Have a good day, everyone!


	7. The First Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so work is kicking my butt this week. I have three 14 hour shifts this week so I'm not sure how much writing I'm going to get done. I might move Update Day to Sunday, we'll see after this week. I WILL update next Saturday and I'll leave a note if my update schedule needs to change, but for now please enjoy this chapter! Ace Attorney has some fun in this chapter and there's a surprise guest!

After a solid week of dragging my heavy-duty briefcase around, I felt a little lopsided with my casual one. I could barely fit the minimum paperwork inside. I wasn’t even sure why I had this briefcase. It was too small for any real case and it’s periwinkle blue only matched one outfit.

But if I didn’t want the Secret Service pawing through my records, I had to carry only what I wanted them to see.

Building plans, the employee contracts, my contract, a few NDAs, resumes of my legal team. That was it. That was the sum total of what I arrived to a meeting with the Prime Minister with. I felt so ill-prepared.

“Ah, Ms. __________!” He was just as bland looking in real life as on tv. His hair was thinning, but he wasn’t bald. He had some paunch, but he wasn’t fat. He was average in height. His features were forgettable.

In short, he reminded me of the background characters in cartoons and videogames.

“Minister Mulch, a pleasure to meet you, sir.” I let none of that show on my face. I was a professional.

“Please, sit down.” He gestured to the only available seat in the room. Three men in immaculate suits and dark sunglasses ringed the table we sat at. “Tea? Biscuits?”

“Yes, please.” I accepted my refreshments with good grace.

“How is your work going? I understand you haven’t worked on any other cases since you accepted the Monster King’s offer.” He smiled blandly.

“Oh, very good, of course. They pay in gold, you know.” I chuckled, sipping at my earl grey. Not really a favorite of mine. I much preferred that golden flower tea at the monarch’s house. “I’m certainly not hurting for cash and the challenge is interesting. I’ve never had such an involved case before.”

“I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying yourself.” He patted his forehead with his handkerchief. “Would you mind answering a few questions for us?”

“So long as none of them go up against my contract, I’d be happy to.” A bit of an overstatement there.

“May we see your contract?” I pulled out the document and passed it off to the nearest agent. We sat, sipping our tea while he went over it. I wonder how much legal training he had.

Enough, apparently, to justify that foul look he gave the document before he smoothed out his expression.

“For being so short it is quite thorough.” He commented. “Have you been teaching them?”

“A bit, yes. They do have lawyers of their own, you know.” I gracefully accepted a refill. “I hired one as part of my legal team and may hire another.”

“You understand how this could prove problematic later on, don’t you?” He frowned with gentle concern.

“Oh? How so?” I did wonder where they were going with this.

“With in-depth knowledge of the legal system, it’ll be easier for them to get off after breaking our laws.” He argued.

“Will it?” I arched one brow. “Funny, when even some humans have difficulty doing so. Please keep in mind I _am_ a Civil Rights lawyer, most of my work is done with minorities.”

“So they are a minority then? Do you know their full numbers?” The Minister leaned forward.

“How many monsters do you think can fit under a mountain? The answer is, not very many.” I nibbled a biscuit. “And I’m afraid such information falls under the terms of my contract.”

“Do the King and Queen have an heir?” Interesting question. Perhaps I wasn’t the only one doing research on ancient monarchies.

“They do not.” I decided not to mention that they were separated and that their children had died centuries ago.

“Any idea who the next in line for the throne is?” The Agent asked.

“Such has not come up in conversation, so no.” Though, actually, that was an interesting question. Did they have any family left?

“What of the ambassador? Isn’t she a viable heir, being their adopted daughter?” His eyes narrowed. The clench of his jaw brought to mind a wolf on the hunt.

“First of all, Frisk Dreemurr identifies as non-binary, so do try to keep from misgendering them.” I smiled coldly. “Secondly, I do not know if the ambassador is their legal heir or not. Such has not come up in the course of my work.”

“How large is the human population among monsters?” From his tense shoulders I guessed I just ruined whatever plan of attack he’d been thinking of. He had legal training, that much was clear, but not _court_ training and that is where he failed.

“Such information falls under the terms of my contract.” I answered blandly.

“Do the humans among them also possess magic?” He asked.

“Such information falls under the terms of my contract.” I answered.

“What can their magic do beyond identification and communication?” He asked.

“I’m afraid I don’t know.” I answered.

“Ms. _______, I believe you’re being deliberately obtuse.” The Minister sighed. “Why are you being so difficult, my dear?”

“For one, I don’t believe you have my clients’ best interests at heart with these questions.” Neither jumped to deny it. “For two, I signed a contract.”

“A contract with beings not legally recognized as sapient.” His cheeks flushed red with anger and frustration.

“Not sapient?” The flush cooled quickly. His eyes darted to the agent at his side. The agent looked very much like he would like to yell at the minister. “My, my, _my_ ,”

“I scarcely know what to do with such information.” I sighed, cupping my cheek in hand.

I hadn’t expected that. I honestly, truly, hadn’t expected it. Trying to claim monsters weren’t _sapient?_ On what grounds? The shapes of their skull? They talked, they wore clothes, they had _paperwork_ for God’s sake!

Suddenly the battlefield before me was packed with enemy combatants. I stood with my small group of mercenaries, fighting an uphill battle. I’d already known the war would be long and there might be casualties, but I hadn’t known I’d be fighting a tank with a swiss army knife. I stood ready regardless.

If their arrows blot out the sun, then we will fight in the shade.

“Forgive me, I misspoke.” He scrambled to take it back. I watched him verbally backspace for upwards of five minutes.

I said nothing. He had crafted his own noose and I gave him the room to hang himself. My only regret was that I wasn’t recording this. I’d never be allowed to leave the building with such a thing, alas.

“Ms. _______, who are the members of their inner circle?” The agent’s questions took a more modern bent, perhaps hoping to distract me.

“Ah, you mean my primary clients? Aside the royal family, that is the skeleton brothers, Papyrus and Sans Serif. Captain of the Royal Guard, Undyne. Dr. Alphys is the Royal Scientist, head of her own science team. Flowey is the ambassador’s interpreter. Mettaton is the most famous monster in the Underground, as I understand it, a real celebrity.” I listed. “Those are all my primary clients.”

“What role do the skeleton brothers play?” The agent asked.

“Papyrus Serif is the Monster Mascot.” The role consisted mostly of greeting humans in the area to befriend them, I believe. He was rather effective at it. “Sans Serif is the Royal Judge.”

“What is their legal system?” He asked.

“Similar to ours in most ways, save those crimes that fall under the purview of the king. Those are the trials Mr. Serif oversees.” I hadn’t gotten to see the essay Corbin and Mr. Tristroot were collaborating on. I was looking forward to seeing it when it was finished.

“Ms. ________, what is your goal with this case?” The agent, and the fact no name had been given to me even after a solid hour of questioning was telling.

“To see the peaceful integration of monsters into society, with all the same rights that humans enjoy.” Preferably within my lifetime.

“You understand that may not be possible?” He tilted his head curiously.

“And why not?” I asked him.

“Because they’re not human.” Honestly, it was all I could do to keep from rolling my eyes.

“If that’s the best argument you have, then my work will be easier than I expected.” I laughed. How could I not? For over an hour they’d barraged me with questions, trying to find some weakness or threat. Even the things I hid through my contract wouldn’t have given them what they wanted.

“Ms. ______,” It seemed they only used my name to admonish me. Why they thought it was working was beyond me, though I appreciated all the little details they let slip through their behavior.

They didn’t respect me. They had to know my track record, my ten years of service, my _dedication._ In fact I’d be _shocked_ if they didn’t know every inch of my personal history, down to the pet gerbil I got when I was six.

But they didn’t respect me and, though it might have galled someone else, for me it was like a hand-wrapped gift. An opponent you didn’t respect had already half-won.

“You are being extremely unhelpful right now.” The agent sighed.

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean. I’ve answered all your questions to the best of my ability.” I was starting to feel the effects of all that tea. How much longer would they insist on asking me the same questions in a slightly altered format?

I was starting to suspect they _didn’t_ know about my ten years of service. There had to be limits to disrespect. At this point all I really wanted to do was sit that agent down and give him pointers. The poor man had clearly never had to deal with an actual lawyer before, and I pitied him.

“Ms. _______, we _don’t_ wish any harm to Monster Kind. We simply want to ensure everything runs smoothly and by-the-book.” He sighed.

“We would appreciate your help in ensuring their safety.” He tried plying me.

“Truly? Well, do you mind if I ask a question of my own?” I continued before he could answer. “What is _your_ goal with this case?”

“To aid in the safe integration between Monsters and Mankind.” A new voice intruded. The minister and the agent both stiffened. I looked over my shoulder, and then promptly leapt out of my chair in my haste to bow to the Queen.

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.

“Your Majesty, no one informed us you were coming.” The Prime Minister spluttered.

“Honestly William, why do you think that is?” She looked supremely unimpressed. The Minister’s head ducked down like a scolded child’s.

When she received no answer she tutted disapprovingly and instead stepped forward to face me.

“Ms. ________, a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my dear.” She smiled, reminding me of Toriel. “I’ve been hearing so much about you these past two weeks.”

“Most of it good, I hope, your Majesty.” I spoke politely. “May I say what an honor it is to meet Minister Mulch and yourself on the same day?”

“I meant to be here sooner, but I did want to give dear William time to get what he wanted. Poor dear, so many of his supporters are against Monster Kind at the moment.” She shook her head sadly.

“I imagine that won’t last forever.” I replied, carefully. “Some of what I’ve seen Monster Kind do would be quite desirable to a number of them.”

“Oh?” Now her, I would talk to.

“How does clean, renewable, near _infinite_ energy sound to you, your Majesty?” From the minister’s grunt I thought it sounded good to him.

“Do tell,” I offered her my chair, then glanced at the table. Most of the food was gone and there wasn’t an unused cup. Now I really was _galled._ I turned to one of the agents in the room, by a wall.

“You there, be a dear and fetch her Majesty some refreshment.” I snapped at him. With a quick look from his superior, he was gone, hopefully to do what I’d commanded. Now I could focus on selling Monster Kind to the highest authority in the land.

“Underground, there is a large generator they call the Core. Apparently, it is too large to carry out, but they are making plans to connect it to their new place of residence as soon as the city is built. My associate, Diana Worschten, has been negotiating with several Human and Monster construction companies to have the process move as quickly as possible.” I explained.

“Are there a great many of them still underground?” She asked with some concern. “I understand you are still attempting to gain control of the shoreline as well, aren’t you?”

“Among their number is a population of water dwelling Monsters. The Captain of the Royal Guard is one of them, but she is capable of moving about on land as well. Not all her kind are so blessed.” I informed her regretfully. “I understand it might be some time before anyone is willing to allow Monsters free reign of the coast, so I don’t expect it to happen any time soon.”

“Tell me, are the King and Queen hoping to reestablish their lost nation?” She leaned forward.

“Not in so many words, your Majesty. They don’t have the numbers they once had to support such a thing, and they are quite a ways from the ancestral home of Monster Kind.” Unfortunately, that map wasn’t among the supplies I’d brought with me. _Curse_ s!

“Rather than establishing their own country, they instead would like to be citizens of yours.” I smiled gently. “Of course, their Majesties are concerned about giving up all power and representation.”

“Hopefully a solution that pleases everyone can be found.” She nodded. “There will be a treaty signing soon, and after that perhaps we can begin searching for a compromise to allow them their autonomy while still holding them to the laws of the land.”

“If you don’t mind my audacity, I was wondering if, for the sake of expediency, we might consider Monster Kind under the light of religion?” I asked her.

“Oh? Given the conflicting views among the religious people at the moment, I didn’t think you’d be so enthusiastic over the church right now.” She cocked her head curiously.

“I’ve been doing my research, your Majesty.” I straightened. “Monsters do have their own beliefs, and they are a large group of people following such doctrine. Given that, it shouldn’t be too awkward to think of them along the same lines one would think of the Amish or some similar demographic. They would obey the laws of the realm, while also preserving their own way of life.”

“I imagine that would be the neatest solution.” She nodded thoughtfully. “Though you understand it would more than likely take months, if not _years_ , to work out the kinks.”

“I’m prepared to devote myself to this job, your Majesty.” Given the time requirements and the long-term implications, it might be wise to plan for leaving my firm or establishing my own practice. My contract had been re-written two years ago so I could leave whenever I so desired. I’d think more on that later. For now, business.

Refreshments for the queen arrived. We continued talking for some time, mostly discussing little personal anecdotes. I told her about the pun-off between Toriel and Mr. Sans. Her Majesty found it quite amusing. When I mentioned helping Dr. Alphys right the armor mannequin she expressed sympathy.

It all felt genuine to me, but I wasn’t fool enough to think this stately woman couldn’t fool someone of my meagre years. I gave her only what I’d decided was harmless, and even then I found myself doubting my own judgement. Was the mention of Encounter law too much? I chose not to risk it, despite the fact Toriel had assured me it was alright to tell them about it.

The meeting did not run long after that. I’d said everything I was allowed to and I’d planted the seeds of interest where I could. It was up to my opponents to make them sprout now.

“It has been a _delight_ , Ms. ________.” Her Majesty assured me. “I look forward to seeing you at the treaty signing in three weeks!”

“Your Majesty, you flatter me. Thank you _so_ much for coming today.” I hardly spared the Minister a nod. “Good day to you, sir. I’ll be taking my leave now. _Do_ keep in touch.”

Once I visited the washroom and left the building, I sat in my car and ran over my mental notes. Everything seemed good. The Minister was neutral now, though with a slight bent towards animosity that I’d have to keep a careful eye on. The Queen seemed to be in my corner, and she was a powerful ally, though I suspected she was playing her own game here. So long as it didn’t negatively impact my clients, it would be fine.

Today was good, I might even go so far as to call it _great._

I was _exhausted._

I went home and took a nap with Inkdrop.

I had no idea what to look for in a media manager. I didn’t even have anyone in my contacts I could go to for advice. Lawyers didn’t _hire_ media managers! Hell, I’d only worked with one all of three times in my career and those acquaintances had been no more than passing!

It was a gap in my knowledge that even I couldn’t hold against myself. For the first time since I’d graduated, I was learning on the job.

“Can you summarize your previous experience for me, Ms. Charms?” I tried not to show any signs of anxiety. I was the employer here. I was in control.

“I worked for Toys R Us until two months ago. I was let go due to company downsizing.” She went on to explain how she had created, curated, and managed publishable content. Her name was Serena Charms, she was twenty-three, and so freshly graduated I could still smell the ink from her diploma. She’d worked at Toys R Us for three months. I’d called her former employers and they had nothing but good things to say, but their company had decided they could do with one less media manager.

“You understand if you get this job, you’ll be working with Monsters?” I questioned.

“Yes, ma’am.” She nodded. “I don’t see anything wrong with them personally and I understand it would be a big commitment, more important than my previous job.”

“You’re certainly not wrong there.” I withheld a sigh. She was the _only_ person who’d called me back and asked for an interview. All the others I’d reached out too hadn’t wanted to get mixed up in Monster business.

I still wasn’t sure if I should hire her. We _needed_ a media manager, but what if I chose the wrong person? What if Serena Charms talked a good game and couldn’t back any of it up? What if she was secretly prejudiced against Monsters?

I didn’t really have a choice though. The treaty signing was in two-and-a-half weeks. The people needed to see more Monsters, not keep them sequestered on their mountainside. The longer things went on without us having any control of what was being said, the worse public opinion would get.

And I wasn’t equipped to handle that.

“Well, Ms. Charms, so far everything I’ve seen today has been exemplary.” I smiled softly. “I can’t say whether or not I’ll be hiring you, but you can expect a call in three days time. Will that be suitable?”

She perked up, blonde pixie cut and freckled face creating an odd mix between country girl and city punk. If I looked closely I could see she was using makeup to cover up the hole of a nose piercing. She had normal stud earrings in, but I could see multiple holes there too. How many piercings had she removed for this interview? Were piercings acceptable for a media manager?

I hated not knowing something. This case had caused my research list to expand beyond my control. I didn’t even have time to research the things I really wanted to! Finding out whether or not piercings were acceptable for a media manager was going to the bottom of a ridiculously long list.

I bid Ms. Charms a good day and escorted her out of the building. I hadn’t been ambushed outside my office again yet, but it was only a matter of time. I really did need to review my contract with the firm.

Looking around my office, I thought about the years of service I’d put in here. My picture was hanging in the lobby hall. I had contacts and acquaintances in this building. I’d built my career here since I’d interned here back in college.

And now I was leaving and I found I wasn’t sorry to say goodbye. I’d never liked working through this office, but I’d been too busy to think about establishing my own practice. There were people here I’d miss and people I’d be glad to never see again, an even mix.

It was a little like moving out on my own again. I was a little sad and a little excited. And here I thought I was done with those sorts of feelings after moving out of my parent’s house. Here I am at twenty nine and I’ve got pre-move jitters just from deciding to leave my firm?

Laughing a little at my own silliness, I began going through the few files I kept in the building. I’d need to send messages to a few of my regular clients to tell them they wouldn’t be able to contact me through the office anymore.

While going over my employment contract, I wondered what Toriel and the others were doing today. I’d informed them I wouldn’t be able to visit Mt. Ebott today, and they had my cellphone number if they truly needed me, but I missed them already. I missed the homecooked meals and pleasant conversation especially. I was perhaps getting a bit spoiled.

Well, I’d see them tomorrow. I had three days to write up an employment contract for Ms. Charms, arrange a meeting between her and Papyrus to make _sure_ she’d have no issue working with monsters, and then arrange a meeting for her and Mettaton. In four days it would be Tuesday, wouldn’t it? If I told him today would he be able to clear his schedule in time? Give her two or three days to get used to working with us and then I could start arranging another press conference.

I made a note to talk about the shoreline at the conference, then blinked and realized I was staring blankly at my firm contract.

With my cheeks still flushed, I buckled down and made sure I’d be able to split off on my own free and clear of any obligations.


	8. Casualties

Rather than going straight into their Majesties’ house, I lingered outside my car for several moments. Behind me a silver BMW was pulling in. Given that I could see Corbin’s car already and I knew Diana was preparing for the ground breaking ceremony for the first building construction, I assumed it belonged to Ms. Charms.

Sure enough, she stepped out and quickly scanned the area, eyes wide and an excited smile on her face. She’d obviously had too much caffeine. She was almost jumping up and down in anticipation. When her eyes fell on me she waved and started towards me. It was more than a walk but less than a skip.

“Ms. ______! Good morning!” She greeted me with bubbly cheer.

“Good morning, Serena.” I smiled fondly. Today was her first day, and last, unless she could get along with Papyrus. “Are you ready to meet our clients?”

“I was _born_ ready! This is just _fantastic!_ ” From anyone else, I would’ve taken that for sarcasm. Serena Charms just looked too genuine though.

I was starting to like her. Hopefully Papyrus wouldn’t scare her off.

“Let’s go in then, wouldn’t want to be late.” I pulled up my heavy-duty briefcase and led the way to the door. A quick rap and it was flung open by the excitable skeleton so vital to today’s meeting.

“LADY LAWYER! AND YOU’VE BROUGHT A NEW HUMAN WITH YOU! ARE YOU A LAWYER AS WELL?” His sockets glinted. I didn’t know how they did that but I was starting to accept the fact that they did.

“Um, no, sir. I’m the new Media Manager, Serena Charms. It’s a…” She had the widest eyes I’d ever seen. “Pleasure to meet you!”

“WHAT IS A MEDIA MANAGER? WHAT MEDIUMS DO YOU MANAGE?” He asked as he let us inside.

“Social medias mainly, like Facebook or Twitter.” She explained.

“I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS ‘FACEBOOK’ BUT I’VE HEARD MANY SURFACE BIRDS TWEETING!” Papyrus nodded.

“Facebook and Twitter or internet sites, they’re used by people all over the world to keep in touch, post about new things in their life, talk about their day-to-day challenges.” Serena paused for a moment, clearly trying to understand how there could be people who didn’t know what Facebook was. I hoped I controlled my facial expressions better than she did. I couldn’t imagine how embarrassing it would be to look so obviously confused every time I learned something new about Monster kind.

“LIKE THE UNDERNET!” Papyrus pulled a phone from…somewhere, and excitedly held it up to Serena’s face. “I AM, OF COURSE, COOLSKELETON98! I HAVE _TWELVE_ FOLLOWERS!”

“Huh,” She leaned in, raising her hand briefly as if she wished to take the phone and inspect the website more closely. “Do you think I could get an account on there?”

Everything seemed to be going swimmingly. A knot of tension under my breastbone started to ease. I didn’t sigh with relief, but it was a near thing. I cleared my throat to get their attention.

“Papyrus, dear? Are their Majesties and Ambassador Frisk in? And of course Serena and I will need to speak with them and Mettaton after the ground breaking ceremony.” I reminded him.

“AH YES, THEIR MAJESTIES AND FRISK ARE INDEED IN AT THE MOMENT! METTATON IS PLANNING TO BE HERE BY THREE’O’CLOCK, AND YOU CAN TRUST HIM TO BE PUNCTUAL! UNLIKE CERTAIN _OTHER_ MONSTERS I COULD CARE TO NAME.” He huffed.

“whoa there, did i hear somebody slandering my good name?” I flinched, drawing up my briefcase. It could’ve been to act as a shield or to bludgeon sneaky skeletons with. Drawing a steadying breath, I looked down to my right and found Sans there, looking up at me.

“whoops, sorry there, didn’t mean ta spook ya.” He shrugged apologetically.

“BROTHER! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT EAVESDROPPING? YOU KNOW YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE UP AT SEVEN THIRTY THIS MORNING TO HELP DR. ALPHYS!” He scolded his brother. I wasn’t sure which of them was older, but I suspected it was Papyrus.

“heh, no worries, _paper-_ us.” His grin cocked a little more to one side. “i just hope she doesn’t think I’m _tear_ able.”

“Is he…?” Serena leaned over to whisper in my ear.

“Cracking puns? He’s quite clever with his wordplay.” That first pun session I’d witnessed between him and Toriel had not been the last. Was Papyrus as talented as his brother?

“BROTHER, NO!” Papyrus groaned, dropping his face into his gloved hands.

“brother, yes.” Sans’ smirk was as mischievous as any trickster. “think she’ll be al _write_ with me helping out now or do you think she’ll slap me with some _fine print?_ ”

“SAAAAANNNSSSS.” Poor Papyrus looked pained. Not a big fan of wordplay then.

“ _Ahem,_ ” I interrupted before the third round could begin. I wasn’t sure Papyrus would survive. Alternatively, I wasn’t sure _Sans_ would survive after Papyrus began strangling him.

“Mr. Papyrus, would it trouble you to help Serena for a bit? I do believe she’ll need help getting herself sorted on the Monster media sites, and if she’s to do her job properly she’s going to need to get to know Monsters better.” I smiled hopefully.

“R-REALLY? YOU REQUIRE THE GREAT PAPYRUS’ HELP?” His eye sockets _sparkled!_ “MANAGER HUMAN, KNOW THIS! I, THE _GREAT_ PAPYRUS, SHALL MENTOR YOU IN THE WAYS OF MONSTERS AND AID YOU IN GAINING FOLLOWERS ON UNDERNET! FOLLOW ME TO MY COMPUTER!”

“heh, better follow him,” We watched the dust cloud made from Papyrus tearing up the stairs. “it’s the last door on the left.”

“Oh, alright.” Serena gathered her things and followed Papyrus.

“going to see their majesties?” He asked once we were alone.

“I am. Will you be joining us today, Mr. Sans?” I straightened.

“nah, not really my thing. ‘sides, i’ve gotta go help alph with getting her team sorter so they can start building the first weather machine today.” He sighed, clearly not looking forward to the work.

“Alright then, I won’t keep you. Have a good day, Mr. Sans.”

“just call me sans, ya don’t gotta go adding the bells and whistles to it.” He shrugged and ambled past me to the door.

“Well,” I adjusted my shirt collar and looked around the empty living room. “I do believe that went well.”

A moment later, I was entering the study where the royal family was sequestered.

“Ah, ________, good morning.” Toriel beamed at me. “From Papyrus’ shouting, I take it you’ve found another member for your legal team?”

“Not exactly, Toriel. Serena Charms is a Media Manager,” I quickly explained what that was and why it was necessary, then helpfully added that I was paying her salary myself so she came at no extra cost to them.

Frisk flapped their hands. A pang of regret sucker punched me in the chest, knowing it would be some time before I could make any progress on ESL.

“Ah, yes.” King Asgore cleared his throat. “Frisk would like to know if Ms. Serena Charms is nice.”

“Very much so. She seems to be getting along with Papyrus.” Though I imagined that wasn’t difficult. Papyrus was a sweet dear.

“What do we have to discuss today, ______?” Toriel gestured to a free seat.

“The ground breaking ceremony, for one.” I’d arranged to have it televised. Toriel had written a speech for Asgore and Frisk had written their own, which Toriel and I had both edited slightly. Frisk was good for a ten year old, but there was always room for improvement.

“You are still certain you’d like to be introduced as our lawyer?” King Asgore frowned down at his speech.

“Yes, your Majesty, it provides a face and a name besides yours for people to go to with complaints.” Corbin and Tristroot were nearly done comparing our legal differences and I knew Corbin would be pleased to have people to fight against.

“We will be announcing the next press conference as well.” Toriel reminded him. “I asked Mettaton if he wanted to attend the ceremony today, but he wishes to make his debut at the press conference.”

“Understandable,” I didn’t know much about show biz but I knew a thing or two about divas. I hadn’t had more than two or three conversations with Mettaton since that first meeting, but he definitely struck me as a diva. He wanted to make sure that when he came out the spotlight would be on him and him alone.

“Is that everything we have to discuss today?” King Asgore looked between Toriel and me.

“I believe so.” I checked my papers. Nothing popped out at me. It was time to get going. The ground breaking ceremony would begin at eleven and that left us forty five minutes to ferry everyone to the building site.

Which reminded me,

“Pardon me, your Majesties, but I don’t think I was told what would be built at this site.” I looked up to them. Toriel’s face flattened into a glare, even as Asgore’s twisted in pain. The temperature in the room climbed by ten degrees.

“A monument to our exodus, and the sacrifices made for it.” He sighed.

I didn’t ask any further questions. It was obviously a sensitive topic. If my people had been trapped underground for a thousand years, I’d be sensitive too. Whatever losses they had, whatever sacrifices they’d made, I just hoped they found the surface to be everything they dreamed of.

Given my car wasn’t large enough to hold their majesties, we walked. It wasn’t far. We got there in plenty of time. Captain Undyne was there to greet us at the edge of the crowd, clearing a way for the royal family to reach the stage area. The skeleton brothers and I followed in their wake.

As we walked, I marveled. There were humans in that crowd, true, mostly the camera people and the construction workers, but it was predominately monsters. Monsters of every kind and description. Monsters I recognized from stories. Monsters I’d never heard of. Monsters as far as my eyes could see, laughing, talking, putting their children on their shoulders. More Monsters than lived in the shanty town the UK had built.

They must have come up from the Underground just for this special occasion. But I knew more were still down there, waiting anxiously to watch this on tv, unable to travel to the surface for one reason or another. Even more Monsters than were present today.

Come Hell or high water, I was going to see all of them to the surface.

“Good morning, Captain, Doctor.” I nodded to the armored fish and her beau.

“Yeah, morning, Lawyer Lady!” Undyne bared her teeth in a ferocious grin. “Are you PSYCHED about the ground breaking ceremony or what?”

“I’ve never attended one before. I’m sure it will be wonderful.” I took a look around. Diana was talking to a duck I recognized as the Waterfall Construction foreman. She looked up and noticed me and held up five fingers before continuing her conversation.

“I-I-It’s certainly _his-historic!_ ” Dr. Alphys smiled, wringing her hands nervously. “A-All the c-cameras m-make me n-nervous though.”

“NGAAAAHHH! Don’t worry about it, babe! You’re not even gonna be up on stage!” Undyne clapped her on the back. “I’ve gotta go do a perimeter check, but I’ll be back after!”

“O-Okay.” We watched Undyne march through the crowd and meet up with a dog monster in armor. I wasn’t very good at distinguishing dog breeds and I wasn’t sure breed mattered with monsters, but he was a big fellow with the fluffiest white fur I’d ever seen. They marched off together to perform a circuit around the clearing.

“________!” I turned just in time to see Diana before she wrapped me in a hug. It startled a laugh out of me and I returned her boisterous embrace. “Isn’t this _exciting!_ ”

“The _first_ project man and monsters have ever cooperated on!” Her voice was climbing to a pitch only dogs and dog monsters would be able to hear.

“Yes, yes, very exciting!” Her enthusiasm was contagious. “So are plans for the city coming along?”

“We’ve got sites for the weather machines marked down for the four districts!” She let me go, sighing and rolling her eyes as she continued. “King Asgore has many talents, I’m sure, but I take it ‘creative naming’ isn’t one of them?”

“O-Oh, yeah, _nobody_ l-lets K-King Asgore name anything these days.” Alphys coughed, blushing.

“We’ve got the general areas marked out. Snowdin District, Waterfall District, Hotland District, and New Home District.” She ticked them off on her fingers. “The plan is to work on each district one at a time, starting with the New Home District.” Here her eyes softened a tad.

“You know, we were all set to build a new castle for the royal family, people were even getting excited over it.” She told us. “But King Asgore told us he wanted to build houses for his subjects first. He said everyone was fine living in that big house by the border.”

“Is the area we’re standing in part of the New Home district?” I asked.

“Not really. This is the center of the new city.” Diana corrected me. “The King really wanted the monument in a central location. The original plan was to put it in front of the new castle, but since he vetoed the castle, at least for now, this is what we decided on. This area is going to be a park.”

“Oh?” I imagined a few walkways, a few benches, maybe some flowerbeds and a fountain. “And the monument? I imagine it’s a statue?”

“I’ve got the blueprints with me.” Diana pulled them from the folder she was carrying. I took the paper and leaned over so Dr. Alphys could see it without straining her neck.

It was a statue of Frisk kneeling on the ground, smiling. A heart, which I imagined symbolized their soul, was carved into their chest. In their arms they cradled six more hearts, six more souls.

Sacrifices, losses, people had _died_ under that mountain. That must’ve been what the other hearts symbolized, the lives Frisk carried with them to the surface. My throat ached a bit at the thought.

“I’m sure it’ll look lovely when it’s finished.” I could barely keep myself from getting choked up.

“U-Uh, it, uh, l-looks like it’s st-starting.” Dr. Alphys shrunk inwards, looking up at the stage beside us. King Asgore and Queen Toriel had approached the microphone. Monsters were cheering, the humans in the crowd were getting caught up in the festive mood. The cameras started rolling.

“My friends,” King Asgore began. “What an honor it is to stand before all of you today, here, under the sky instead of under the rocks.”

“A thousand years has passed since we last had that privilege.” He continued solemnly. He looked up at the sky, closing his eyes to savor the warmth on his fur. “A thousand years we lost.”

“But no more.” His eyes snapped open. I was gripped by the intensity of the moment. “The day of our exodus, we began a new age for Monster Kind. We are here, friends. We’ve _made_ it!”

“But we could not have gotten here without those who came before, those who died beneath the rocks. This monument is a testament to their sacrifice and loss. Today we honor the Lost Ones above all others. Let this be the ending, and the beginning.” Here, Queen Toriel leaned forward to speak.

“Today, we begin construction of Ebott City!”

I will be honest, it was less of a cheer and more of a _roar._ Deafening, and exhilarating. A moment immortalized in history. My heart pounded away in my chest and inside, I roared with the monsters.

“Come, come now, my friends!” Asgore laughed. I’d never heard it before but it was warm. Honestly though, it sounded like deep bleating. “There will be food and drink provided for all, but first, let us hear a few words from Frisk, our Human Ambassador!”

They roared again, so pleased and alive it was impossible to be anything but pleased _with_ them. A stool for Frisk to stand on was provided, and Flowey poked his head from the collar and leaned towards the microphone, a bored expression on his face. Frisk timidly waved to the crowd and they quieted to hear what they had to say. Encouraged, Frisk began to move their hands. Flowey translated.

_“I’ve made a lot of good friends and have a wonderful family now. That’s more than I ever thought I’d have. And even though it was hard and lonely, I don’t regret a single moment because it led me to all of you!”_ Flowey pitched his voice sweeter, like a child’s. He looked bored, but I noticed a few of his tendrils shaking. Frisk didn’t pause or slow, even as they started to cry.

_“I want to thank all of you for helping me on my way and for showing me all the wonderful things you can do! This wasn’t my victory, it’s_ yours! _I couldn’t have done it without you!”_

_“I’m going to keep serving as your Human Ambassador, but I hope someday I won’t have to. I hope that one day, Monsters and Humans can live together in peace! Let’s build our new home together! Let’s go out and make friends! Let’s show the whole_ world _what we can do!”_

_“And thank you for accepting me.”_ If you’ve ever walked through a forest, you’ve heard it. The sounds of nature. Birds singing, leaves rustling. If you were watching this today on your tv or computer, then you heard that. You heard squawks and roars and cheers and praise. But if you were _standing_ there?

It was a sound you felt in your chest. If any monster looked at me they’d be blinded because I was sure my soul was glowing the brightest it ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, but an important one. You know, I cranked this one out all in one go. I listened to that How Winners Are Made video to inspire myself.


	9. Ambush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everybody. Work was kicking my butt, I got the flu, and on top of that I had writer's block. It was awful. It's midnight here and I just finished this chapter. Ugh. I know I'm not getting any sleep tonight so I'm going to go ahead and start work on chapter 10. You should see it next Sunday.

After the big speeches it was time for my debut. I’m afraid I was more than just a tad nervous, especially after the reaction the crowd had to the last speech. I had no delusions of being able to top that, but there was a weighty sensation hovering over me as I ascended the steps. Expectation.

“Here to aid us in our integration with humanity is ______  ________, a well-known lawyer who is now the head of our legal team and holds the honorary title of Lawyer of All Monsters.” Toriel ushered me forward.

“It’s an honor to be here and to welcome all of you to the surface.” I smiled. Deep down I was having flashbacks to my first court case. The jury stood before me and every last one was pre-disposed to hate my kind.

“I am a lawyer, and in case you didn’t know, that means I’m not particularly gifted at sugar-coating things.” I wished now that Toriel had helped me write a speech too. I hadn’t expected it would be this difficult. This nerve-wracking. I stood against judges and juries all the time!

“The road before you is not an easy one, this case will be the work of years, maybe even lifetimes.” I made myself smile, kept every trace of nerves from my voice and posture. “But the hardest part is over. You’ve made it to the surface. And no one will ever force you Underground again.”

“I look forward to working with all of you.” A cheer arose from the crowd. Perhaps it wasn’t as boisterous as what King Asgore or Frisk got, but it was sincere.

I stepped off the stage gratefully. Frisk flashed me a thumb’s up, then they darted off with a young reptilian monster with no arms.

“Ms. ________, a wonderful closing speech, if I say so myself.” Tristroot joined us, accompanied by a tree woman. Rather than appearing as a tree with a face, she reminded me of those ancient legends about nymphs. She had olive skin, and her hair was a nest of braided leaves. Oak leaves, I thought. “Allow me to introduce my wife, Oana.”

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” I nodded politely, extending my hand. She met me halfway and, though her skin _looked_ like a human’s, I found it had the texture of bark.

“Darling!” I’m not particularly proud of myself for jumping so hard I nearly ran into Oana. You wouldn’t expect a six foot tall robot with the personality of a diva to be stealthy, but there you go. Mettaton had nearly given me a heart attack.

“It’s been ages, simply _ages!_ ” He sighed dramatically, angling himself in just the right way so the sun made his ‘hair’ glisten. It was almost blinding to look at. “And where is this Media Manager I’ve been hearing so much about?”

“Serena Charms,” I cleared my throat, sweeping the area with a glance. I’d left her with Dr. Alphys, hadn’t I? They couldn’t have gotten very far, Alphys was too shy to brave the crowds near the picnic tables.

Ah, there with Diana and Corbin, good. Papyrus was there as well, waving his arms as he talked excitedly about something. His brother had disappeared, or was simply too short for me to find in the crowd.

“This way, Mr. Mettaton,” I lead him through the stream of people passing through on their way to the refreshments. “I’m sure Serena will be pleased to discuss the up-coming press conference. Your big debut.”

“Yes, my debut into the world of Human TV. Darling, you have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming of this!” He rubbed his hands together, reminding me of a cartoon villain.

“Ms. _______, nice speech.” Serena waved as we walked over.

“INDEED! ALTHOUGH IT WAS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE SPEECHES OF HIS MAJESTY OR FRISK, I ASSURE YOU IT WAS A VERY NICE SPEECH BY ITSELF!” Papyrus gave me an approving thumb’s up. That was a popular gesture today.

“Oh yes, those two certainly have some flair, don’t they?” Mettaton laughed.

“M-M-ME- _METTATON!_ ” Papyrus nearly threw himself into a backflip in surprise. “I-I DIDN’T KNOW YOU’D BE ATTENDING THE CEREMONY!”

“How could I possibly miss it?” Mettaton swooned, posing. “The sheer drama, the euphoria of victory, darling, this is what I was _made_ for.”

Made for. Alright, I hadn’t honestly given much thought to it but the idea that Mettaton was made instead of born still took me by surprise somehow. I’m not sure what I was expecting.

“__________, may I have a word?” Corbin pulled me off to one side.

“Is there a problem?” I asked with concern.

“No, no problem.” He didn’t look very convincing. “Tristroot and I completed that comparison essay you set us on.”

“Oh, did you bring it with you?” My eyes locked onto his brief-case.

“You’ll get to take a copy home tonight, I promise.” He rolled his eyes with a groan. “I have a few concerns though.”

“You said there were no problems.” My eyes narrowed.

“Most of our laws line up, and those that don’t are usually things humans can’t do or things that could be negotiated.” He confirmed. “My _concern_ is the fact that we humans have a great many more laws than Monsters do.”

“We have a great many more people than they do. I would’ve thought it was expected.” Corbin sure did like to talk his way around a problem.

“I’m concerned about how we’re going to keep Monster Kind as a separate nation within a larger nation. You’re good, _______, I’d hazard to say you are the _best_!” He was sweet to flatter me so. “But at the end of the day, you’re one person, and once other nations get in on this you’ll be facing people from around the world. Even just the _weather machines_ would drive men mad with greed.”

And how could a small team of regular humans keep a society of magical creatures from being taken advantage of?

“No need to borrow trouble where there is none, Corbin.” I rubbed my temples. Today was supposed to be a good day. I wasn’t going to let this reminder ruin it.

“We took on this job and somehow, someway, we’re going to see it through.” I looked around at all the smiling people. “Be a dear and give me the essay, I’ll be able to start looking over it tonight.”

“Well, now that we’re finished with it is there anything in particular you’d like Tristroot and I to focus on?” He opened his briefcase. I accepted the fresh document with eager hands.

“Businesses are going to be just as important as homes in the coming weeks. If you can, coordinate with Diana, figure out what Monster businesses would need to be up to code for the England.” I reluctantly settled the essay in my own briefcase. I would’ve liked to crack it open and start reading right now, but I still had a few things to get done today.

“Getting Monster food approved for sale to humans is going to be difficult.” He groaned, this time in pain.

“How so?” I would’ve thought food would be one of the easier things to handle.

“Monster food is magic, ________.” He frowned at me.

“Magic?” I thought back to all the homemade meals Toriel had plied me with. “How so?”

“I mean _literal_ magic, ________. As in, rather than sustaining a body through nutrients and minerals, it does so through…. _magic._ ” He bit his lip and checked for eavesdroppers before leaning in to whisper something in my ear.

“You’re….You’re joking?” He shook his head slowly.

“But…I’ve _used_ their…” I tried to rally my arguments, though I wasn’t sure _why._

“Humans built the temporary housings.” My mind was flashing back, looking at meals, looking at long days spent with my nose to the grindstone.

“Tristroot explained it to me, he seemed quite curious about human anatomy.” Corbin looked sad and aged, as if some precious iota of innocence had been stolen.

“I don’t know what to do with this information.” I admitted.

“Yeah, neither do I, but I felt I had to share it, if for no other reason than I needed someone to suffer with the knowledge with me.” He confessed.

“I hate you so much, Corbin.”

“I hate me a little bit too.” We parted ways by mutual, silent, agreement.

“________, why the long face, my friend?” Toriel found me in the shade of a sycamore tree.

“Corbin played a bit of a joke on me.” I shook the memory away, though there was a morbid curiosity burning in my chest now. Part of me wanted to ask. Part of me would always want to _know_ now and it was all Corbin’s fault. I contemplated telling on him to his wife, but that would require explaining what I was telling him on for.

“It’s fine,” I assured her with a nonchalant wave. “I’m just feeling a bit miffed that he got one over on me.”

“I see,” She giggled. “So humans still play pranks on each other, do they? It is good to see some of mankind’s better traits still persist.”

I thought of quipping _‘if that’s what you think of as one of man’s better traits I’d hate to see what you consider a flaw.’_ But thought better of it. I wasn’t sure we were close enough to joke about something like that.

“Ms. Worschten says the statue will be finished in three days. A mason from Snowdin will handle it.” She told me. “The first weather machine has begun construction and shall be completed in as little as two weeks.”

“Two weeks, hm.” I considered that and everything else. The houses, the businesses, the schools, the roads, the sewers, so many things required to build a city.

Well, Diana was up to the challenge, I was sure. And she would have Corbin’s and Tristroot’s help. I could leave the construction to them and focus on other areas.

“Well, the press conference should be our focus at the moment.” I nodded to myself. “Would you mind coming with me to find Serena and Mr. Mettaton? We still need to discuss our strategy.”

“I imagine they won’t be hard to find.” Her lips twitched.

“No? In _this_ crowd? Do you have their cellphone numbers?” I hadn’t even known monsters had cellphones until today. That could’ve been useful information. How did they get them to work Underground though?

The answer was probably magic.

“I do, but they shall not be necessary.” I realized her eyes were staring at something overhead. Curiosity roused, I turned around to see what she found so amusing.

White streaks flew through the sky, over the heads of the crowd. Some left a glowing blue trail behind them. Sometimes they collided, attacking each other like swords for a few minutes before breaking off. It looked like a finely choreographed dance.

“What are those?” I couldn’t imagine what kind of monster they must be. Nobody had told me about this part of the ceremony.

“They are bones, ______. Papyrus must be showing off for Mettaton. He does so admire the celebrity.” Toriel laughed, clearly delighted.

“Bones?” Squinting at a few that flew closer to us, I saw she was right. They were femurs, flying through the air in dazzling patterns.

“I forgot you wouldn’t know.” Toriel winced. “The most common manifestation of a Monster’s magic, the kind every Monster is capable of past a certain age, is Bullet Magic.”

“Bullet Magic?” We leaned back to take in the show.

“The shape of the magic tends to run in families, bones for skeletons for instance.” She informed me. “It is mostly used in Encounters or for magical displays such as this.” She gestured overhead as bones began to leap-frog over each other. How did Papyrus keep track of so many at once?

“You said Papyrus is showing off for Mettaton? He does strike me as the type to be impressed by a good show.” I hummed thoughtfully. Actually, I could think of more than a few humans who’d be impressed too. I hoped the cameras were still rolling.

“Papyrus has amazing control.” She nodded. “I knew he was skilled, but I didn’t realize how precise he was. I wonder if he would agree to an Encounter with me.”

“You want to _duel_ him?” I blinked.

“Of course. Encounters are an important part of our culture, ______. Even Frisk has participated in Encounters, though they cannot use Bullet Magic.” Something within me tensed, then eased. If even children could participate then it had to be safer than I gave it credit for.

“What do Boss Monster Bullets look like, if you don’t mind my asking?” I began weaving through the crowd, towards the place all the bones seemed to funnel towards.

“Flames, like so.” She lit her palm on fire. I wish I could say I took it in stride, but I’m afraid I flinched. Suddenly it made sense why the temperature in a room increased with her temper.

“What sort of logic is that?” I spluttered. “Skeletons having bones, that makes a kind of sense. But you’re a goat. Why flames?” Hadn’t I seen a small volcano with feet earlier? Wouldn’t it make more sense for the walking volcano to have flame Bullets?

“Magic follows a logic all its own I’m afraid.” She snickered, clearly pleased by my reaction.

The best part about walking with a queen, the crowd parted like the red seas for her. It made navigating so much easier and it wasn’t long before we reached Papyrus and the others. Sans had wandered by at some point, and he was cheerfully leaning against his brother as Papyrus made several grand gestures and flourishes. Alphys had vanished, but Diana, Corbin, and Tristroot were deep in conversation over a set of plans. Serena was gaping at the sky, watching the dancing bones with open delight and filming the whole thing with her phone.

“This is totally going on my blog.” She giggled.

“YOU ARE RIGHT TO BE IMPRESSED, MANAGER HUMAN! THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS SPENT YEARS MASTERING HIS MAGIC, EXACTING COMPLETE AND TOTAL CONTROL OVER EVERY ASPECT!” Papyrus placed his hands on his hips.

“heh, you could say my bro worked himself _down to the bone._ ” Sans smirked. Papyrus gasped as if he’d been mortally wounded by the pun.

“BROTHER, DO NOT BELITTLE MY EFFORT WITH YOUR HORRID PUNS, I IMPLORE YOU!” He begged, sneaking glances at Mettaton nervously.

“no worries, bro. you know i don’t have the _guts_ to criticize you. no reason to give ya a _bone_ to pick with me.” His eye sockets were sparkling.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHA, oh my!” Toriel slapped her knee. “Are you trying to tickle our _funny bones_ , Sans?”

“well, you know i love being _humerus._ ” If anything, I believe Toriel joining in only made him happier.

“Honestly, darlings, can’t you save it for the next comedy hour at my resort?” Mettaton sighed.

“Oh, don’t be so _sternum_ , Mettaton.” Toriel’s eyes were watering up. She could barely get the pun out through her laughter.

I shook my head, more amused than disbelieving. Any time Toriel and Sans were in the vicinity of each other this is what happened, a hurricane of puns to flood everyone in earshot. Toriel wouldn’t be able to control her laughter, but Sans never ran out of ammo.

“This is going on Tumblr.” Serena worked her way around the group so she could get a better shot of Toriel and Sans together.

“Just be sure you run everything by me first.” I reminded her. “There are certain aspects of Monster life that should not be made public at this time, particularly when it comes to my clients.”

“Of course, Ms. ________.” She nodded, though she didn’t look away from her phone. “Nothing Live unless I’ve discussed it with you first, I remember.”

“See that you do, dear.” I rolled my eyes and left her to it. So far Serena Charms seemed to be fitting in marvelously. A little knot of tension in my stomach began to ease.

Seeing that everyone was occupied, I decided to head towards the refreshments. A few monster caterers had donated food for the occasion, and I was curious about how their cuisine would match up to the queen’s. At the table I found an assortment of desserts, all neatly decorated with spider and web motifs. A lovely young lady with eight eyes and six arms was handing everything out. I accepted two donuts and moved on.

There was also a table parked next to a grill, where a man made of living flame was cooking burgers and hotdogs for the surrounding monsters. I grabbed a hotdog there and moved on.

There was a blue rabbit man selling ice cream, a stressed cat-man selling fancy sandwiches cut into rectangles. Not squares, rectangles. With antennae? There was a banner over his table advertising the MTT Resort. On one side was Mettaton’s smiling face, on the other was a rectangular robot I hadn’t met yet. Perhaps a fellow celebrity?

Once my plate was full I cast around for drinks and found some punch and soda being offered nearby. I didn’t recognize the brands, so I chose one at random.

“Pardon me, Ms. ________?” I carefully turned so as not to upset my plate.

“Yes? How can I help you?” I addressed the anchorman and the cameraman who had approached me.

“Would you mind answering a few questions for us as the Lawyer of All Monsters?” The anchorman smiled, flashing teeth a little too perfect to be natural. What whitener did he use?

“Not at all.” I straightened and wished I wasn’t holding so much food. There weren’t any chairs set up. “Let’s move away from the tables, shall we? Don’t want to cause a pile up.”

We moved out of the main body of the crowd, where I could put my back to a few trees. The cameraman fiddled with his gear until a red light came on, signifying that it had begun recording.

Lovely, they’d probably be doing some frantic editing later today for the six’o’clock news. I’d have to watch my words carefully. I only hoped they hadn’t talked to any of my clients. Mr. Anchorman took up a space beside me and held up his mic, beaming at the camera and ready to begin.

“This is William Smith of Canterbury News, here with Ms. ________, Lawyer of All Monsters. Yes, you heard it right here folks, _All_ Monsters.” He laughed, inviting an imaginary audience to laugh with him.

“Ms. ________, how did you come by such an _unenviable_ position?” He turned towards me, sympathetic and charming.

He wasn’t a fellow lawyer and this wasn’t a courtroom, but it was a battlefield all the same. He was out of luck if he thought his little ambush had caught me off guard though.

_During the Exodus Monument Groundbreaking Ceremony, News Anchor William Smith chose to engage Ace Attorney _________._

“I sent them my resume and a letter, offering my services. I know, it seems a bit odd for a lawyer going to her to clients, but I felt the Monster community could use a little legal representation.” I giggled like a girl ten years my junior.

“What’s the pay like, if you don’t mind my asking?” He leaned forward.

“I make 104 pounds on average.” I informed the camera.

_With his companion, the Unnamed Cameraman, he drew _______ to a secluded spot, cutting her off from all reinforcements._

“Per day?” His eyebrows shot up. From honest surprise, it seemed.

“Per hour, dear.” I corrected him. Gently, of course. Heaven help me if I were anything less than _gentle._

I smiled, but it was a false mask and that was all it would ever amount to be.

I could see him trying to work out how much that was daily, weekly, monthly, _yearly._ I would never want for spending money. I lived well within my means and even paying Serena’s salary out of my own pocket would not damage my quality of life.

_Her back to the barrier of trees, _______ looked upon her adversaries and smiled._

I took control. I _had_ to, even with my arms encumbered by food.

“And of course, I don’t work alone. I’ve assembled a team to make sure that nothing slips through the cracks. All vetted individuals, I assure you, even one monster with over three hundred years experience in the legal field.” I placed my hand on his shoulder momentarily. Just a moment and nothing more. As I lifted my hand I turned more towards the camera, taking a measured half-step forward to place all attention firmly on myself.

“Peaceful co-existence is a little closer every day. I look forward to the day Monsters and Humans live side by side.” I kept my face open and kind, the trustworthy look a jury loved.

Get the audience to like you and the war is half won.

_In one stroke, she ended their threat._

He stayed his course and rallied himself quickly. A masterful actor.

But no lawyer. No, not at all.

“How does working with Monsters differ from working with Humans?” He asked me. “I’m sure our audience would love to know.”

“A bit of a longer drive than I’m used to, but otherwise the same as any other client I’ve had.” I switched my plate to my other hand, shifting my weight to put the implication of distance between us.

He leaned forward, the way his type always did when they thought they smelled weakness.

I was having perhaps a bit too much fun with him. I had to remember that this was work. My clients could ill afford carelessness from me. They deserved nothing but the best.

I couldn’t give them that but I could damn well give them all I had.

“Have they used any magic on you?” He should’ve been paying more attention to me instead of the camera.

“On me? I do believe you have a different idea of what a lawyer is, sweetheart.” The endearment twisted on my tongue, becoming sympathetic and just the smallest hint of pitying.

“Well, no one knows what magic, _real_ magic, can do.” He shrugged in joking self-defense. He would’ve been better served if the gesture was a sincere one. “Mind control, teleportation, there’s no limit to what they could do.”

“No limit?” I snorted. It was unladylike, but it was honest. “If _that_ were true they would have escaped from the mountain long before now.”

“I won’t lie and say they don’t have fantastic abilities, but they’re not all powerful.” I shook my head, still playing up my amusement.

“No? They seem to have kept some human prisoners since they were banished.” He challenged.

“Prisoners?” My tone and face lost all traces of amusement. I wished I wasn’t holding a plate, I wanted to put my hands on my hips and stare him down the way my mother used to do to me. “My, what a serious allegation, Mr. Smith. One might almost call it slander.”

The legal term made him jump.

“Slander? I assure you, I’d never lower myself in such a way.” He verbally backpedaled. “I only meant the human population among them, ultimately resulting in Ambassador Frisk. People are saying he’s descended from human Prisoners-Of-War. Can you give any truth to that statement?”

“Given the fact Monster Kind _lost_ that war and was driven underground? There’s no feasible way they could have taken prisoners with them without the humans of the time period finding out and rescuing them.” I refrained from shaking my head, but I did tip my head forward. He smile looked plastic now, fused on by long practice. Only the blind would mistake it for the real thing.

“As for any human family members of young Frisk Dreemurr, I’m afraid I’ve never spoken to any. Frisk identifies as non-binary, so _they_ are happily adopted. Given they are a minor, their files are sealed for their own safety, but I’ve reviewed all the necessary paperwork. Everything is in order.” I kept the ice from my tone, aware that sooner or later thousands of people would be watching this moment. I needed the jury on _my_ side and I wouldn’t get them there by being cruel.

The interview ended rather quickly after that. I don’t think poor Mr. Smith’s heart could’ve taken much more. I happily left him behind to find a place to eat my lunch, although the hotdog was cold and my soda was warm.


End file.
